Hey all. While a small handful of people know about me at work (by small people I mean only 2 people out of almost 100 staff know) I am gonna begin my physical transition within the next few weeks/months. The problem is, I'm not sure how to proceed with telling my bosses. I work at a bookstore, and have been for 5 years. They are extremely open-minded and they have a zero-tolerance policy for discrimination of any kind (example, a guy was being homophobic, not to me but making comments to other employees, and within a few weeks he was fired.) But I feel like coming out as Trans is a much bigger deal than just being Gay. I don't intend to come out RIGHT NOW, but it will be sometime soon. I'm at the point where I'm fed up with hiding and wanna move forward, but i dont know what I should do. I know I have job protection from being fired, but I don't know how to do it. SHould I tell the general manager of my store, the manager that oversees my department, or should I first confer with HR, just to have backup if the managers take it badly? Thoughts?
what does your company policy say to do? i know my managers were crazy women who would demean me for not acting and thinking just like them! a girl i worked with was super stressed out by her, not good. but we had no faith in HR either. if you think you can trust a manager, do it, if not if you know their boss is honorable, go to them instead and say that you wanted to help them understand what they were seeing as yu change just because you are open about it and want to make the change as easy on everyone as you can...but that * you can't go to personally tell cuz he's *** about this kinda thing.
Well, I don't know how it is at your work but if I was going to come out as trans in mine, I would wait to have done the whole paperwork and legalities of it. Before that, well it's not forbidden to behave and look like how you feel (a guy I think). And then I'd let my boss, and then the rest of people gossip and out me that way. Inevitably somebody will come forth and ask if it's true, I'd answer Have I ever pretended to be a girl?
If I waiting for all the paperwork, I'd have to wait to tell them after I had hormones, and a name change, and SRS, which to me is stupid. I intend on telling them after I start hormone therapy, which should be within the next six months to a year.
Well what I would do is I would walk into there office and tell them that I will be transitioning into a girl (yours would be opposite obviously ) and that I would like to do it in a way that impacts the business as little as possible. Then talk from there, it shouldn't be a huge deal if they're as open as you say they are Don't make a big deal out of it because as far as a business should be concerned, as long as it's not impacting said business in a negative way then there shouldn't be anything wrong with it.
Speak with the general manager and tell him you would like a meeting with him and preferably an HR representative to discuss and important issue. I would suggest having a solid timeline laid out before approaching them and have all the information regarding when proper documentation will be available, etc. They are going to want to know how you feel it would be appropriate to be addressed as, as well as when the legal name change and social security information will be available, and ideas you have for informing the rest of the staff. They are going to want to set a specific date when you will be returning to work as a man, so that they have time to let the rest of the store know and to make sure things are as smooth as possible. You're also going to have to work out other logistical stuff, like what bathroom to use before and after transition, what name you will be going by, etc. Keep in mind as well, how long you think it will take into your transition to pass effectively and comfortably in a public setting. I'm three months in and could probably go full-time (and it is something I am hoping to do in the near future) but for a lot of trans-folks it can take much longer for noticeable effect from hrt, etc. Things will most likely be a lot easier if you are at ease in your new gender role and are confident around others. The more you look and sound like a boy, the easier it will be for others to "transition" as well to vieiwing you as you view yourself. Not to mention it will be easier working with customers when you aren't lingering in the "gender twilight zone". Trust me I'm there now and I get a lot of confused looks lol It's awesome that your work sounds so supportive. I really hope everything goes well. For a fantastic write-up of advice for the work transition, check out this link. Work transition for transsexual and transgender people ***EDIT*** Fixed pronoun usage, thoguth i was talking to a transgirl at first =P
I think it depends on what type of business you are working in. You said a store but is it an independent bookstore or a regional/national chain? This could make the difference. If it is a chain, and HR is not in store, there is no need to involve HR. They can make the changes to your documents when necessary, but don't need to know everything. And even if your managers are openminded, HR may not be so nice about it. Either way, I suggest finding support in one manager and bringing it to their attention first. I'm not sure how the management system is with your employer, but having a support can be very useful in getting others to accept things they may not initially understand. Also, offer to provide them resources about transitioning if necessary. Best of luck, Kaden Michael
