I was wondering if anyone who has started their transition already could tell me the sort of questions they were asked. It is my plan to introduce myself by giving the therapist a handwritten letter and including some things they may inquire or be concerned about along with a general story of my struggles. I believe this would be a positive way to open the first therapy session so we can move directly to both the hormones and addressing my issues from a life of trying to hide myself from the world.
As a person who has gone to multiple therapists, I can tell you there is no solid answer to your question. Each therapist is different and will take a different route for your individualized therapy. I love this method you've mentioned, the letter. I think it would be an excellent idea to not think about what a therapist would ask, but what you would ask someone else who is not cis-gender. "How long have you known about your gender identity?" "What makes you feel the least dysphoria?" "What names do you prefer?" "What led you to the decision to come to therapy?" Things of that nature. It should be a long letter. Next, understand that you have to go through about two years of therapy to get your medicine (I think. It's not immediate.) Your therapist has to be sure that you are not in the middle of a passing phase as the effects of this medicine are not reversible. Think of some questions you would ask your therapist. Anything like how long it may take you to get the medicine, the best course for taking it, the effects it may have on your dysphoria. Call a therapist beforehand if you'd like, and ask them what sorts of information they like to have through the first session so you can be prepared. Hope this helps.
This is from an earlier thread I started from when I was looking for my therapist for gender therapy, if anyone would like I can link to the thread, but for now, I will jut provide the questions I asked my therapist to determine if she was the right person to help me - she was in fact, the right person! Ive also included the responses she gave me, but these are good questions to start with & showed my therapist that I was serious about transitioning & had taken the time to do some reearch, thus knowing what transitioning was all about, having done the research (so important for me) & understanding the risks associated with transitioning (medical, social, etc). How many gender patients do you have? (she said none currently, but that she had worked with quite a few in the past, when she worked in the LGBT community in Chicago) How long have you been working with gender patients? (again, answered in the above) What is your educational background? (she gave me this info without me even needing to ask; was also listed on her website) Do you follow the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care? (she said she was familiar with it, but may need to brush up; I said I could bring a copy) What is your hourly rate? (she told me it was $150/session for 60 minute sessions) What length of session do you usually prefer? (again, she had told me they were 60 minutes sessions) Is it possible to do longer or shorter sessions? (didn't bother to ask; an hour was just fine with me) How long do you usually see patients before you might OK them for hormonal therapy? SRS? (she actually seemed pretty encouraging when I asked her this; she said she didn't follow any minimum set amount of time when recommended hormones; she said when she felt comfortable, she'd do it; based on our conversation, it sounded like she was pretty much leaning towards sooner for me, however I told her January at the earliest since I had other goals I wanted to reach first ie voice, exercise, diet, smoking cessation, etc) Are you affiliated with any endocrinologists or plastic surgeons? (she said she could help me out with this as well) Are you part of my insurance network? (since I'm in college, she said to check & see with one of the counsellors at the counselling office on campus to see if therapy could be covered by the college, since she has worked with students before, as well as that it may just mean a referral to her from the counsellor in order to have the college cover it) Would you be willing to classify our sessions as depression in order to meet insurance requirements? (didn't get to ask this one, it slipped my mind) What are your hours? (she freely offered up her hours to me, plus they were on her website) Do you have weekend or evening appointments? (no weekends, but she does do evening sessions) (Anything else you want or need to know) (won't bother going into anything else here, too much to say) Hope this helps!
It does help, and I am very interested in anything you can tell me with that other link as well. But what I was asking for is the sort of questions the Therapist asked you. =) I have already selected my therapist, though I have yet to speak to her. I've seen a lot of positive reviews of her. She's a fellow MTF named Joanna Frost operating in western mass.
Well, most of the questions I was asked related to how I felt this way & when I first realized I wasnt the physical gender that I was on the inside & that sort of thing. Each therapist takes a different course as the conversation progresses, but the base of the questions started out focussed on how I felt & why I identified as female & how I had attempted to reconcile how I felt inside with how I looked outside (I, for example, used to drink heavily to cope, & have attempted suicide 3 times at that point & have been suicidally depressed for most of my life at some point). Things like that were explored, relationships & bonds with others were discussed as well, I felt the need to address this as my father has been verbally & emotionally abusive to me since I was 5, so family issues & interactions were discussed quite a bit as well. Sorry Im not much more help with respects to this, as I spent most of the hour I first talked to her doing all the talking! She didnt say too much, more probed further into things if I left an opening for her. Psychotherapy is typically about the person speaking & allwoing their feelings & whats on their mind come to the fore, while the therapist listens & asks questions when needed. My advice when speaking to you therapist isnt so much as to worry about what questions they may ask so much as being as honest as you can when they do ask you a question. This is a bit different, people expect it to be like it is on TV, & it kind of can be, but you arent necessarily going to lay on a couch & it isnt an interrogation or interview style of thing either, so just go in with the attitude of being as open & honest as possible with the therapist you choose!
wow, lucky girl! sigh, September is such a long wait. ---------- Post added 14th Jul 2012 at 01:54 PM ---------- it will be so hard. telling MYSELF stuff, remmy how it felt, it can bring me to tears. i hate that! i don't really want to have a stranger judge me as a pervert or think I'm a cry baby or something like that, which is why i never told any adults growing up. i just hope that it will lead to help so not feel so out of sorts anymore. it needs to be under control. I'm sad that so many fTM and MTF people are suffering worse than me, to nearly kill themselves. if i can't get hormones cuz I'm either not ready or not dysphoric enough, will seeing a GID therapist still give me some ideas for making my life livable? I hope.
My best suggestion to you is to do what I plan to do. First, do not, absolutely do not go in dressed and acting your male mode. Dress in nice, feminine clothes and be yourself, be open, and show her the real you. Secondly, if you'd like it might be a good idea to write a long detailed letter about your life and experiences that have made this reality clear to you, how it affects your every day life and the difficulties of living with it. Your therapist will probably be grateful for the letter and learn a lot, which will allow them to move right along with the therapy and hopefully get you your hormones as soon as possible. I am an extreme case, so I have little doubt I will get mine very quickly, possibly even on the first visit. I do not know you well enough to say, and your therapist may be very different than mine, and so I simply remind you of my earlier advice and wish you luck.
Just as a warning: I haven't heard amazing things about Joanna Frost. I'm not sure how she is as a gender therapist, but she's known for sending all her patients to a certain endocrinologist that sucks (Stuart Chipkin in Amherst). This doctor took me off T seven months in, because he said I was too fat... even though I was the same weight as when I had began, and he had never mentioned anything. I have also personally heard him yelling at a patient. He was very unprofessional, and from what I've seen, most people seem to agree with that assessment. Apparently, Frost is adamant about sending people to this guy. As for what a gender therapist will ask you, it depends. When I went to my first appointment, I was asked all about my mental health history; if you are considered "unstable" or suicidal, you may have trouble obtaining a letter until you're deemed stable. Then, you'll be asked all about your childhood --- when you first felt something was off, your experiences with puberty, what your "aha!" moment was when you realised you were trans, why you are deciding to take action now, etc. My therapist also asked who I was out to, when/how I plan to come out to those who I wasn't out to yet, and things of that nature. You may feel like you're an "extreme case" (I'm honestly not sure what you mean by that), but unless she is informed consent based, I doubt you'll be getting a letter on your first visit. Most therapists follow a set of standards that requires you to either go through a real-life test for three months if you're not already presenting as the gender you identify with, or go to therapy for a minimum of six months. Like I said, I'm not that familiar with Frost's practices, but unless you have heard of people getting a letter of recommendation on their first visit, I wouldn't get your hopes up.
I like the letter idea. I might be kind of off on my own on this one, but my advice is to just be yourself, tell the truth, and let the therapist take over. Granted, I've been in therapy for my transgender issues, but not with an actual gender therapist. Still, I'm a psychology major and I have to have faith in the system. These people know what they are doing and are here to help you. If you are genuinely transsexual than they aren't in the business of screwing you over. I think you should just be yourself and not to try to convince anyone of anything else. People can tell sense that stuff.
Hmm. Not good then if people are being yelled at. How about Diane Ellaborn. She's a bit closer to me anyhow. By extreme case I'm stating that I've pretty much always known, to clarify that as well. I'm peering at this list of mass therapists here Gender Therapists for Transgendered, Transsexual and Crossdressers: Psychologists. If anyone could reccomend any of them, that would be great. Please bear in mind though I'd be incredibly uncomfortable with a male therapist.
Ellaborn was my first gender therapist, and my experience with her was horrible. As in, every time I had an appointment with her, I felt miserable. She's incredibly bossy/controlling, and she would likely send you to the same endo that Frost does. On another forum I visit, it's been said a few times that Ellaborn and Frost have a racket going on with Chipkin. You also definitely would not be getting a quick letter from her. She does require you to do a real life test for 3 months, or therapy (which I did) for 6 months. If you have psychological or developmental issues, it may take even longer. Someone that I know said he had a lot of problems with her, because he has Asperger's. From that list, I've heard some good reviews about Christine Becker. I can't vouch for her, since I've never seen her, but most people that saw her had positive things to say. Since you're sure you're trans, maybe you'd be interested in going to Fenway Health in Boston. They have an informed consent model; if you don't have a letter of recommendation, I think you just need to have a visit with one of their therapists to make sure you're mentally healthy and ready. From what I've heard, it's a simple process that doesn't take too long. I recently asked someone about how Fenway was, and the person said he was on HRT within a month of his first appointment. He started with not even having a letter of recommendation.
Fenway Health? Hm. I'll have to go look that up when I have the money someday. Thanks a lot, you've saved me a couple long trips, wasted money and disappointment I would have gotten from those other two. I appreciate your taking the time to help me form a plan for addressing this. ^^ (*hug*)
Good luck. (*hug*) I just didn't want you to have to go through what I have. I've become so put off by the gender "specialists" I've seen that I've postponed medical transition a bit. I'm just now starting to get over this aversion, and will be calling an endo sometime this week to see what her requirements are.
For some, the therapy route works, and works well. For others, the informed consent model is a better option. I'm a personal fan of therapy just because I believe that everyone could use someone to talk to (not necessarily to "get help"). However, Fenway Health has been great with their Transgender Health Care program. The Trans Team has great staff and the providers are excellent, at both locations. It seems Fairhaven (where your location says) may be closer to Providence, RI where you could find some resources there as well. Best of Luck, Kaden Michael
It appears some doctors are very biased towards sending patients to certain people who are specialists in a field. It could be they know each other or worked or graduated together, or the insurance company is pushing for them cuz they bill cheaper? I had poor ENT and Audi, both paid for by my insurance, from referral by doctors...same clinic sends to same ones every time. And others have posted online how duct tape held up some stuff (i didn't see it), but I did see her unable to get the new machine to work, and she shoved the ear pieces in me so many times it really hurt...not to mention she did a bad job on the test. I ended up finding my own audi, which is far more qualified and did a thorough job...and didn't charge for stuff the other did! So I think maybe the reason that endocrinologist gets all her patients is likely for a close friendship business arrangement, or other monetary reasons beyond bias. Sadly, patients are disservice by such agreements.
