Trans people!! I need your help!!

You are male. You want to be male, you definitely sound like you have identified as male for a long time. Living as a girl doesn't make you any less of a man than any other guy out there. How far you want to pursue your male gender identity is up to you. Some people can live happy, fulfilling lives as their biological sex, others require hormones, and even others need surgical intervention. Transitioning doesn't always involve all of these things, it all depends on where you feel the most comfortable.

Myself, I live as a woman, take hormones, and I feel like I require surgical intervention before my transition is complete. I know a trans woman, though, who doesn't feel like she needs surgery. Her transition is already complete. Another is happy just to have accepted what she is on the inside. Neither are less of a woman than me. The same is true for you. Even if you want hormones and stuff. At this moment, you are still a man. No one can take that from you.

 

Being a woman is a large part of what makes me who I am. Never in my life did I Identify with being one of the guys, and nothing quite rankles me as much as hearing them talk negatively about women or brag about how they degraded someone, how they had a night with her and threw her out the next morning or other such stories that men typically tell, not to say all men are like this but many of the ones I've been around, particularly in the workplace, are. (I admit I'm a Feminist.) I always got along better with the girls and 99% of the time I did not get along at all with anyone male. I've never been able to date, because I hate my body as it is now so much and I feel like I'm trapped in this hideous body that isn't mine. Not men, not women, not anyone. I can tell you I will seek transition, I have sought it for most of my life, and I won't be satisfied until I've had my operation and I am a complete woman. I wish I could purge every ounce of maleness and masculinity from my body and this has been my singular driving motivation for my life. I would give anything to reach this goal.

So when I look up there and I see your story, the things you've been through and your self opinion, I tell you to see a therapist as soon as possible. If you belive this is the path for you, then your therapist will help you get more in touch with your male self and you can choose whether or not you want to walk the path to making your body match your mind. In any case, whatever your choice may be, I wish you the best of luck and a happy future.

 

I will not be able to love anyone until I can love myself. I hope your girlfriend understands. I would spend a day with her, enjoy your time with her reaffirming your feelings, tell her how much you appreciate and care for her. And then sit her down and tell her the news. Not necessarily right now mind, but when you are ready. And make sure to tell her that whatever happens, you will always remember her smile, and the wonderful times you shared.

 

You are lucky then. Having a nice bi girl who understands and is there to support you will definitely be a big help in getting through transition.

 

Keep me updated. I Like hearing good news. ^^

 

Wow! Sounds exactly like what I've been going through my whole life :O

 

To answer your question about when I knew what I was, I kinda always knew. Since I was a kid, nothing I really did when it came to hobbies or activities really screamed female or male. I just did what I liked, but I didn't understand why people said I couldn't be a mom when I grew up. I hated when I couldn't be the mom when we played house too.

It wasn't until I was 13 where I confronted my femininity and truly realized what I was on the inside, though. I tried to pretend to be a boy for years before that, but I hated every moment of it. It took another 13 years for me to come out, though. I highly recommend not doing the closet part. The closet sucks.

 

Once you get tired of constantly asking yourself "should i transition" you will finally say "I'm going to transition" and things will just be that much better. Talk to a therapist and work things out with them. It took me 25 years to finally take that leap, and I can say I have never been happier with myself and my body. I hope you find peace.

-Tristen

 

I'm absolutely not a feminist, didn't even go with the Queer group to their Fem club! but degrading any human is disgusting. if i were a big guy and heard them talking like that, id not be able to NOT punch their lights out! jerks like them make all men look evil. i promise you not all men degrade or use girls, i know for fact. and please God i would not! i want to have somebody love me not just use me for lust, so goes both ways.

---------- Post added 14th Jul 2012 at 07:26 PM ----------

well, i on rare occasion feel a want to start T to make myself stop envying other guys bodies. i can't believe how things have changed during acceptance, that i know i want to ask out a girl and date. and i get more bold in standing for what i want and believe. also i notice what guys wear not their butts like girls might, and it never happened before that i saw men as like me...i tried to not allow me to be seen to be like them!
it makes me wonder when this journey is gonna end...what will my last step be.

 

Well, I'm on the exact opposite side of this spectrum, but I can relate to this question a lot. For a long time I said "I want to be a girl, but I don't feel like a girl. If I was one, how could I WANT to be one?"

Well, my opinion is, if you want to be a girl, and you want to transition, that's what matters. I don't really feel like I am female, but I want desperately to be one. I think that counts. But of course I'm 22 and still haven't made any real progress towards transitioning.

I guess I don't have a solid answer to your question, but I can say for certain I relate heavily to this part of it.

 

Hey Dan,

I've just totally accepted as a transgender just three months ago, so I'm not a lot experienced in it.

I guess most of us transsexuals like to wake up in the body we want to have, me no exception. Going a bit further, I sometimes (day)dream to wake up suddenly in a male body. I almost wish that. of course I wasn't thinking to steal anyone's. It seems some people do abandon there's after anesthesia, and I've heard it's not the same person some times wake up :icon_wink . so I am thinking wow, if I could wake up in such a body after sleep

years ago I also started dressing like that once. But things got out of hand later, so I gave up it then, But still love to do that time to time, without much overdo.

I think your gf's going to more like it,if she is OK with the transsexual concept . no one can predicate on someone's feelings, but she sounds like that. I also experienced such a love.

May be it would be better if you could discuss about transsexuals before you tell her about yours (if you haven't still). It may ease her feelings.Good luck!

 

Daniel, I am absolutely terrified that I would regret transition. Though its not because I think I might not enjoy being a girl. Its because

1. I'm afraid of losing all my family and friends.

2. I'm afraid of the in between time. People staring trying to figure out what I am. Deciding which bathroom to use. Dealing with all the beaurocracy...

3. I'm terrified that after everything I'll just turn out looking like a man in drag.

But despite the crazy horrible fears, I have never wanted anything more. I already regret NOT doing it so far. If I never do I'm going to live with regret anyway.