Trans questions

I know it can be hard to find Trans-related stuff, but we'll try to help you as much as we can. I think another transguy will be able to relate to your story better, since I'd like to go the other way, but there are still similarities between FtM and MtF.

I always wanted girly things, though I was too afraid to say anything, and I still am. But once I stopped repressing my feelings, and started to accept them, it made life a little easier for me. I hated puberty for making me a man, and liked it better when I was more androgynous, like you.

Hopefully you're in a position where you can wear more masculine clothing, and don't need to wear dresses and such. But I think another man would be better able to help you out. I'm just here to say welcome, and offer help and hugs whenever you want.

 

@GreenRaven

Hi, welcome!, yes it's hard to find information on trans* here, I was in your shoe too, what I do is add people (mostly write on trans* who I think their posts would help me) into contacts and tick off request for friends and go to there wall when I have time and find threads from statistics. well I have found no other way to find what I want, if anyone knows pls I'd like to know it too. I was thinking to ask the staff for some way to search easily.

I really sorry for what you are feeling, if you want to talk in general try my wall, I'll try my best and there are other like us.
As for me, I was much more luckier as I only recently (few months) discovered that this feeling to have the opposite body will never go away again. and I had a really tough time afterwards. But that is not, I never had feelings like you before, but I just coped with them and had somewhat consolation and that is something I really am grateful in this life as I was reading a lot of tough stories from other transsexual people compared to me. I thought I lived in peace before this but still I was the same person like now. only the realization made me different.

I guess the main reason for what we feel is the hate we have for the way our body looks and that lead to what we go through in life until we gain happiness with body. That is what I'm going through anyways. Some times it's ages I look into a mirror and it's only when I can't avoid it. But then, I find that habit helps to keep me in peace so I can't help sticking to it. There are lot of other little things like that. But I realized that main thing is that to be happy to the extent I can achieve. Life is to be happy but not the opposite or wait to be happy until something specific is achieved in future and I've heard someone else also say this (IDK who).

Er! IDK if this is OK to say it is not for me to tell anyone it, but it is bad we trans people hate our bodies, now, I think we should stop at a dislike stage or draw back to it, that is until we have what we want as it is really hard to love it in the way we are born anyway. But it came into my mind that it is this same body I have now, is going to be changed one day to what I like and that is if I have a chance, and then I would be in content and love with it. So why not try to make somewhat peace with it until that time and be in peace and have consolation.

 

Hi there GreenRaven, I am a new member like you too!:icon_bigg
I know it is hard to find information on transgender, and it is even more difficult to find information on FtM transgender too - maybe it is something about how girls(trans or not) tend to be more open than guys? - but I have found some websites when I was researching about my conditions that I think might help you:

Susan's Place Transgender Resources for Transsexual/Transgender Communities - a comprehensive website for transexual in general, with links to great websites

Transsexuality - a great website to read and understand more about what transexual is, why it happens, and what you can do about it. Although many anedoctal notes are only for MtF, due to the author being one.

Transgender, Transsexual, Crossdressers, Support Groups, Worldwide List: Laura's Playground - this website is where I found EC. There are links to many other group that you might find helpful.

And I think that the morbid wish to have the body mutilated by an accident (or sometimes, when the feeling of being trapped is so strong, I have considered doing it myself) so that it resemble our inner person, is something we all have.

For me I feel like the body is the house of the soul. For "normal" people, their house is a place they feels comfortable living in, so they don't feel the need to change it. But for us, it is like we just got dropped into an alien place that we cannot escape. It is a terrifying experience, when you realize no matter what you do, you are stuck inside this body that you never asked for to begin with. That is when the house became a prison. Because there is no way out, the only thing we can do, is to make the prison a bit more comfortable for us, or we will go crazy. That's why we want to change the body we are in.

It is good that you are making peace with the body you reside in though , since you need it in good health before you can change it. I kind of feel stupid now how I used to torture the body I live in with all the unhealthy lifestyle (I did seriously sometime wish the body to just die and I might reincarnate into a girl, and even if I don't, at least there will be no more pain). Good luck and hope you will be at ease with your body soon.

 

I would recommend getting involved in a trans support group if possible. I just started doing the same, and I met another trans friend outside of group that I had been talking to online. Its indescribable how much its helped me. The first time I talked to them we just talked for like 5 hours straight and I just felt like we were finishing each other's thoughts whenever we talked.

Like, I've talked to friends about it, but its like for once I didn't have to explain, we could just relate. For me it gave me the reassurance I needed.

I wish you the best of luck. I wish I could help more (*hug*)

 

@RainDreamer
wow! you reminded me now, of those out from EC.

@GreenRaven

Great!, peace!
ya, I also like to have them , the links. thanks.
about girly stuff, well, I know this sounds really stupid, but I'll die if I ever get pregnant even in imagination, so I remind me ah! its good to know it's not and it seems mind listens to it ( well no I don't have any ways to get preg. that's why it may sound stupid lol.but it's almost a phobia for me so it works)

I found these related to some posts here in EC :

Transgender Positive
Chatter | We Happy Trans
Transgender News, Culture, Opinion and Conversations - HuffPost Gay Voices

 

Welcome GreenRaven!

Most of the other stuff has already been brought up, but have you ever tried looking for used or free binders?

If you google it, it's not hard to find sites where they donate binders to trans guys in need or can sell them to you for a much lower price. You can also try getting in contact with your local lgbtq youth centre and you can often get the binders there on the cheap.

 

Hey welcome Greeny

I like Shayne Nichoai. But I could be biased since I was considering Shyne for a while so that the first letter matches my birth name. Also, I like the "y" in names, which I am pleased to say my name does now.

I got a couple of things ...

Yes! find a local group if you can. When I went to one, I was all nervous cause I thought that people there were all gonna be into their transition (socially or medically) or be super young in their teens, and that I was gonna somehow be pressured into transitioning as well. It was totally not the case and I've met some really good friends and we talk and hang out outside of the group.

Ace bandages are a no go. It is stretchy so it keeps squeezing your ribs the whole time your wearing it. If you really have to, I found that masuring it around my chest and then laying it out and sewing the layers together at the ends made it easier to use. Also if you put it overtop a tanktop or t-shirt, it slides around less. I have the underworks one now. If you order from the underworks site, there is a discount code you can use, just type in "under10" and it gives you a 10 percent discount. Your in the US so shipping should be free.

I'm still really early in the process so I am def not an expert. Msg if you ever wanna chat

 

It will probably depend on your body type, but the longer binder (Underworks) was not flattering on me at all when I was heavier. Not only did it make my chest look huge, but it made my whole torso appear larger than it actually was. It also rolled up all the time, which was incredibly frustrating. Now that I've lost 100lbs, it works a lot better, and oddly enough I look almost completely flat, but just warning you.

 

If it helps, I myself have a binder from Loveboat. If you're at all worried about comfort, go for one of theirs; like any binder, they can be a little awkward to get on (mine's velcro, but it still takes a bit of stretching to get everything lined up) but it doesn't put any pressure at all on my ribcage. I can breathe completely normally, though I do start to feel it a bit if I try to inflate my lungs to their maximum XD And for all that, it does actually give me a male-shaped chest. I wouldn't wear anything skintight with it, since the velcro does stick out a little, but with a normal, properly-fitting men's t-shirt I can't see a thing.

Review aside, XD, I have heard quite a few negative points about Underworks binders, usually related to comfort, but it's done a ton for my self-confidence and self-acceptance.

 

I carry my weight similarly, except a lot of it goes to my thighs as well (arms and calves are relatively thin). Being heavier does have its pros in passing though; if you can't get totally flat, it's expected for bigger guys to have a flabby chest, and it would probably look a bit suspicious if you didn't. It's an individual thing, but I didn't lose all that much weight in my chest. I went from maybe a 46DD to a 38D. I'm only estimating since I haven't worn a bra in years. It's something though, and doing stuff is a lot easier now.

I should expand that Underworks' sizing system seems a bit wrong. According to them, I was supposed to wear an X-large, but it was way too tight, and I could barely breathe. I would go one or two sizes larger than what they recommend; like I said, after losing the weight, my X-large fits me perfectly. I feel comfortable, or at least as much as one can in a binder, and it isn't too loose to keep me almost flat like I thought it'd be. For all I know, my experience may not be typical.

 

agreed!!. .. the long ones do not feel good with a belly. I got a belly and I'd rather show a belly and no boob then show a uni-boobbelly, which mine does if i use the long one. But that could just be me. different for everyone