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Gender Identity and Expression A forum for support and advice about figuring out and expressing your gender identity. If you have concerns about coming out, please use the Coming Out Advice forum.

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Old 13th Sep 2012, 03:00 PM   #1
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i really need a binder FTM trans

so, i came out to my grandma as gay and since then have gone to two therapy sessions. i told her that i really need a binder. my dysphoria is really getting bad. i have mini panic attacks when i see or feel them, but she doesnt understand. theres no way to get it on my own. i just dont know what to do. ive been binding with an ace bandage, but it really hurts and now it is getting so stretched out. i cant handle not having one. she said that i would be embarrassed to show up to school with a flat chest but i told her that im embarrassed to show up with a chest. she still doesnt get it. she thinks that im not that big so it shouldnt matter. she said that i used to be pretty chesty and i literally wanted to burst out crying. i dont know how to help her understand. im miserable. what would you do if you were in this situation. im at a christian college and the underworks website is blocked as porn, so its not even an option to order it on my own. please help.
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Old 13th Sep 2012, 06:28 PM   #2
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Re: i really need a binder FTM trans

do you have a laptop, smartphone, or other wifi-enabled device? if so, then can't you just go to starbucks or somewhere with a wireless network and order from there?
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Old 13th Sep 2012, 06:29 PM   #3
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Re: i really need a binder FTM trans

This site lists a number of other online stores that you could maybe try: Chest Binding 101 – TransGuys.com - it also has a lot of helpful information about binding. Other than that, I tried typing "binder" in under the clothing section at ebay.com and got a few results, so you might be able to find one there (although sizing would be more challenging, of course).

Do you think your grandmother's resistance is simply that she can't understand where you're coming from, or do you think it might be a symptom of denial? You mentioned that you came out to her as gay, so I'm assuming you haven't yet come out as trans. It may be that she suspects this is the case and is therefore anxious about allowing you the opportunity to present in a more masculine way.
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Old 13th Sep 2012, 06:34 PM   #4
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Re: i really need a binder FTM trans

Please stop binding with ace bandages. They will cause health problems.

Go off campus and see if you can use a public library computer to look at the products you want, and then order by phone.

Also, you should seriously consider transferring schools. A school that is blocking a body shaper underwear site as porn is seriously not going to be a good environment for you. Underworks makes things like "pregnancy support girdles," as well as chest compression garments "for men with gynecomastia." Transgender things are not even prominently mentioned, so I have no idea why that site would be blocked.
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Old 13th Sep 2012, 07:15 PM   #5
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Re: i really need a binder FTM trans

I just ordered my first one in a kit which comes with a packer, packing underwear, and packer dust for under thirty bucks from the levamentum project (thelevamentumproject.com). They package discreetly, make binders to fit your actual measurements, and will remove the project label from the box if you need them to. It comes in a priority mail package. You could try there. They also have a tumblr if you find their website is blocked. It shouldn't be, as it is a very small operation, but you never know. They also accept donations and help fund other trans guys (as well as trans women's) supplies. All you have to do is tell them a bit about yourself to see if you qualify. They're pretty cool. You could try t-kingdom, as well, but I think they are along the same works as underworks so they may be banned. Or ebay might be your friend too, just ask the seller if you can have everything sent discreetly.
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