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Letter to professsor (gender)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by J Snow, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. J Snow

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    Hey there, I'm considering writing an email to one of my professors over something they said in class that made me feel uncomfortable, here is what I've written.

    I just wanted a second opinion on whether this sounds appropriate or if people think I'd be better off just not saying anything at all.
     
  2. everett

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    I think its mature and well thought out. Your not antagonizing him as it stands. You have a right to notify him as such and I think you are being more then reasonable in it.
    Ultimately whether or not you choose to send it is yours alone but I feel in my view that this would be the right thing to do.
     
  3. Sartoris

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    Pretty much agree with what everett has said. There's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with the email you've written and I'd even go further to say it's important to let them know about how their comments effected you.

    People, whether they mean to be hurtful or not, who say thoughtless things like that won't know any better unless someone corrects them. Since you say they're a good professor, I can only hope they are open to your perspective and it may very well changes theirs as well.

    If you do send it, I hope it goes well and has a positive impact. :slight_smile:
     
  4. ameliawesome

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    i think you should say something, and your letter is very appropriate.
     
  5. BradThePug

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    I think that it is a very good letter. It sounds professional and it is not confrontational.
     
  6. Mogget

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    Yes, it's very professional.
     
  7. jvn95

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    Sounds mature and and non-provoking to me!
     
  8. J Snow

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    Hey, just thought I'd update everybody on the response I got. She was extremely apologetic and actually seemed pretty knowledgeable on trans issues. She said it was merely poor wording and she felt really sorry that she put her foot in her mouth. She said sex and gender would be coming up in future lectures and she would love if I would come in to discuss with her and give her some input on it.
     
  9. Caudex

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    Haha Professor X.
     
  10. J Snow

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    I know its been a while so no one probably cares anymore, but I just had a meeting with her yesterday and thought I'd feel you in.

    So basically she is about to talk homophobia in our class on Wednesday, and she wanted to get some advice on whether its offensive or not. She was so uneducated on LGBT issues as a whole, but especially on transgender issues. It was kind of nice because she wanted to learn, but I was still kind of blown away by some of the things she said. Some examples include:

    "Oh wow, you are you transgender? But you are so clearly male! I mean, no one would question that! You would never get mistaken for female! You look so masculine!" (I am not even joking. This happened.)

    "So I did some research online before you came over and I just found out that all transgender people aren't gay? I thought for sure that all men who get a sex change would like men and be gay, but it says some of them like women even though they want to be women? Is that true?"

    It was a very interesting experience to say the least... I also was referred to as male through the whole thing, but that's nothing I'm not used to I guess...

    The most surprising part was she started telling me about her 13 year old daughter and how she used to insist she was a boy as a kid, and want her hair cut all short, and refused to wear dresses. So I guess she had good reason for wanting some info on this in case her daughter decides she is trans.

    Well, I don't regret going. I really hope I made a difference in educating someone who... honestly should not have been this ignorant about it as a social psych professor who spend so much time studying stereotypes and social stigma.
     
  11. DJNay

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    Seriously, I feel for u Snow, wow that's harsh with how she referred to u as make the whole time and saying that u don't pass as female, gosh! Yeah I agree with u on the ignorant part. I admire ur courage of coming out to ur professor. I've only come out to one, and she had a completely different reaction to yours. Fortunately she was very supportive and said that she has a new respect for me and wants to know more because she finds it so interesting. Some people hey, hope it gets better for you and that your transition leads you to who you really truly are :slight_smile:
     
  12. ameliawesome

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    That's honestly really awesome :slight_smile: anyone can get a degree in anything and still be ignorant, but she seems genuinely interested which is great. I hope your class goes well!
     
  13. jvn95

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    Oh my gosh.

    That's... almost shocking how ignorant that professor is.

    Teach her well!

    I would also ask her to refer to you as a female, and educate her about that too.