See I've got this thing about my hair-links to gender issues

ok so im not really trans I have had thoughts off and on for over 2 years now and it is confusing. I think I have times where because I'm so feminine I do think "everything would seem just right if I was just a girl" but then I'm like "it's just because I have such an issue with being gay I just think I'm "girly" and not "gay".

Anyway I was talking to my friend today and he asked me why I do nothing with my hair (ie use no product) and I just dont really want to. By not wanting to I just feel weird about it, like I see using like hair gel as a sign of masculinity (even though effeminite gay guys do have their hair all done up its still masculine ie not a woman hairstyle). It's the same feeling I have about suits and ties. I hate wearing them for me it's like when some girls hate wearing dresses (I realise I used a comparison in a comparison hope that isnt too confusing). In short having a hairstyle is like my hair wearing a suit.

The problem is i do feel like I have boring hair. I dont want to have it grown long and it be all girly but I dont want it to be "masculine" either (which is how I feel about my gender at times). Over the past year I've kind of evolved from being a plain jane. Im not saying I'm like Ronaldo or anything lol I've just became slightly more into clothes, excercised more and started tanning so that's got me thinking maybe I should do my hair.

I know it sounds stupid and confusing but hey that's me lol