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How do I come out as trans to everyone?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by tomftm, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. tomftm

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    I'm in Grade 7 and I am FTM. I'm out to my online friends and mom and dad at home but I'm so scared to come out at school. Should I just go and be a girl who looks like a boy and wait until I'm older to where people can't bully me? The kids seem so immature to me, I don't know them SUPER well as I just moved. My mom finally got me a binder, so would it be possible to transfer schools and go stealth for High school? Although that'd be hard, we moved here just so i could go to this high school. Please help - it's killing me.:bang:
     
  2. Throwawayy

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    Hi tomftm. You say that you find the kids at your school immature... Of course! Middle-schoolers are still so young and often immature. Since you just moved to a new school, maybe you should make some friends before coming out as trans. This might be a good thing to do because you could have a supporting friend group to protect you from any bullying you might experience after coming out. Just temporarily go stealth--while still being yourself-- and make friends in your new school! Once you know people at your school, they're less likely to judge you for something as small as your gender identity. If people who you thought were your friends begin to turn on you because of your gender identity, just remember that they might not have been your real friends after all.

    I'd also like to address another point you made in your post. Truthfully, there is never a magical age at which kids grow mature enough to completely stop bullying and judging. Adults, too, bully and judge. My point is, if you're waiting until you're older so that people "can't bully you," then I don't think you'll ever find that time. There's never a perfect time to come out, but you must be the judge for when you come out. If you're uncomfortable with coming out, maybe you should wait for a better time. But there's (unfortunately) never a "perfect" time. If it makes you more comfortable like it did for me, you might consider only coming out to one or a few close friends. Having someone to talk to about these issues--especially someone in your school-- helps a bunch.

    Just be yourself and you'll find the right path in time.
     
  3. Minecrafter

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    Tough break but I recomend talking to the schools counsular not just because it would be someone to talk to but the counsular would know the school well and its students
     
  4. GayJay

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    as painful as it is to go about in school pretending your the opposite gender, i think it might be a little to early. grade 7 so whats that to me first year of high school, kids are young, immature and dont have much knowledge of things like this. oftan they wont understand what yout going through and just make fun of it because it doesnt fit the 'normal'. Also if you havent been there long, di you know your frirnds well enough to predict how they will react to the news. As for going steath, wont high school start ehen you are 14? by the all the kids will have hit pueberty and changes in everyones bodyvwill be more apparent. So going stealth will be hard, possible i suppose but hard. Your lucky you dont have to wear school uniforms like i did, 5 years of wearing a skirt geesh it aas hell.
    but thats just my opinion you do whatever you want of couse. but personally i would leave it a couple of years or so till the other kids mature. I never came out to anyone until my last year of hgh school(grade 11)
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    i dressed as a boy sometimes to go to school before i knew it was trans. i didn't do it all the time, sometimes girl, sometimes neutral but cool, but sometimes i had a need to be male. what is your personal dressing style? if you can just wear boys jeans that have really cool pockets and hoodies with cool colors, even girls will envy you. You can feel you are not in drag, look and feel normal. are you going to get hormone blockers? that will help a lot, i wish i had them.