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Aspirations & Dreams but Sexuality Questioned?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Leakee, Jan 5, 2013.

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  1. Leakee

    Leakee
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    I'm new and not sure how this works. so here i go.

    Reading the title i'm sure you confused on what exactly i mean. I won't give a life story. i'll try to make it as quick as possible. Since a young age i've always loved professional wrestling. i've always wanted to be one(before i was sexually attracted to anyone) so i know it not something i want just because i may possible be gay or bisexual. I know i'm not straight. Ok so basically i'm not sure exactly what i am. since a young age i'd always had crushes on girls and till this day on crushes on girls. but yet i'm more sexually attracted to men. it seems my body desires for MOSTLY same sex relations sometimes women but i've always been only. romantically attracted to women. Never kissed or have had sex with either gender and honestly is caused me to be isolated hoping no one finds out that i am this way. Now it's not that i'm ashamed to be whatever i am but i'm starting wrestling training next month and honestly i'm afraid of what the path would leave to. I'm not sure exactly what i'm asking or why i'm posting this. maybe bc i feel alone in this situation but honestly i'm trying to figure out exactly what i am. as it will make me more comfortable with my future in wrestling as its very homophobic. i'd just need advice on what i should do or comment. something.
     
    #1 Leakee, Jan 5, 2013
  2. Yoshi02

    Yoshi02
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    I actually feel very similar. Well I've never been much of a fan of wrestling, but otherwise I feel very similar.

    My heart and soul really wants to be with a woman, but I don't often get physical urges for that. My body does sometimes get physical urges for certain types of guys, but my mind still finds the idea of full on sex with another man rather unappealing.

    I suppose it's best to remember that you alone can choose what you actually do and decide if you're happy about that. You should never let anything get in the way of doing something you really want to do. Your sexuality, whatever it is, is just one part of the whole you, so you shouldn't let that one part deny yourself the happiness you want with the rest of your being. And you never have to tell anyone what you are if you don't want to.

    Good luck!
     
    #2 Yoshi02, Jan 5, 2013
  3. Leakee

    Leakee
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    Thank You.


    Actually the exact feeling you described is how i feel. i could never see myself being with a man. not because of others views but because i don't want it. there is a girl i'm really into now and i'm sure if i could get past the anxiety of when sex comes to play that i won't be able to perform and i lose her. it's the reason ive kept to myself and have never been with anyone.
     
    #3 Leakee, Jan 5, 2013
  4. Yoshi02

    Yoshi02
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    I have the same concern. I find myself attracted to women emotionally for romance and companionship but am afraid I won't be able to perform when the time comes. I'm considering seeing a therapist or maybe a doctor about it since I'm not quite sure what to do in that sense.
     
    #4 Yoshi02, Jan 5, 2013
  5. Leakee

    Leakee
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    That actually sounds like a good idea. but it would me i would have to verbally express my concerns and that is still a problem for me. glad to hear they're other people out there like me!
     
    #5 Leakee, Jan 5, 2013
  6. Yoshi02

    Yoshi02
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    Well that's the benefit of seeing a good therapist. Nothing you tell them will leave their office. When I was in school I saw a therapist for depression once a week for nearly a year and no one, not even my best friend, knows that.
     
    #6 Yoshi02, Jan 5, 2013
  7. Leakee

    Leakee
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    i'll give it a shot. thanks
     
    #7 Leakee, Jan 5, 2013
  8. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    Do you ever feel any sexual urges for girls? When you see an attractive girl walking in public, does your body go "I want her?" Do you start imagining a sexual scenario in your head when you see an attractive girl? Plenty of gay guys have fantasized about the romantic/emotional aspects of the opposite sex (e.g. cuddling, holding hands, kissing). But sexual-wise, there is a barrier. It falls short of sexual. If that's you, then you probably would be considered gay. You don't have to broadcast yourself as gay to everyone. You can internally label yourself by how you feel. If you don't feel any sexual urges for girls, then you most likely are not bisexual.
     
    #8 cm81990, Jan 6, 2013
  9. Leakee

    Leakee
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    It's weird because ive been aroused to women before( in porn) i use it to try to see if i could possibly be bi. all the girls i've had crushes one i did want the cudding holding and kissing. it's not that i dont want sex with them. i'm just afraid that i wouldn't be able to get it up you know. since i know for a fact that i'm more sexually attracted to men. again it's hard to explain. trying to make it understandable through these are harder than i thought.
     
    #9 Leakee, Jan 6, 2013
  10. Rexmond

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    You could be hetero-romantic, but seeing as you said you are aroused by women it's not likely. I don't know what advice to give, but seeing a therapist like Yoshi suggested may help.
     
    #10 Rexmond, Jan 6, 2013
  11. Leakee

    Leakee
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    appreciate it. not aroused by all women. i guess i gotta be in the mood for them. almost sometimes feeling like i'm forcing myself to be attracted to them sexually. seeing a therapist is probably my best bet but how can someone who aren't quite like us possibly understand us even to an extent?
     
    #11 Leakee, Jan 6, 2013
  12. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    Porn is not always the most reliable test. From time to time I can get aroused by lesbian porn, but never feel anything sexual for girls in public. Do you feel sexual urges for girls you see in public? Did you ever see a hot girl in public and start imagining a sexual scenario? If so, were you turned on? It really is about what you feel around actual people.
     
    #12 cm81990, Jan 6, 2013
  13. Rexmond

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    You'd be surprised how many people here have therapists here, and although they may be straight, they obviously know what they're doing and it's working! There are of course therapists that specialise in these particular areas.
     
    #13 Rexmond, Jan 6, 2013
  14. Leakee

    Leakee
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    I've never actually thought about that way about a woman in public. i see hot girls but i don't just think straight up sex. more of i wouldn't mind getting to know her but even with guys i'm never in public and just instantly start thinking of anything sexual with either gender even if i've seen someone attractive. more of the time i'm not aroused till i watch some type of porn. and thats male and female. typing this makes it sound even more weird.

    ---------- Post added 6th Jan 2013 at 09:14 PM ----------
    true. i've seen a therapist before but it was because my thought i was bipolar with my depression and anger but in reality all of that comes back into my sexual orientation. it dictates my life and choices, friends that i have. trying to always cover up my identity. not even sure what it exactly is.
     
    #14 Leakee, Jan 6, 2013
  15. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    First off it's not weird. This can happen to lots of people. You may be too hooked on porn. If you've been watching it everyday for so many years, you can actually condition yourself to ONLY get excited by porn, and not real life people. So I would be cautious about watching too much porn. In my opinion, you need to lay off the porn for awhile. Give it a rest. Over time your brain will rewire itself and you'll find yourself turned on by real people. Here's a great website about porn addiction

    Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn

    I had a similar problem of watching too much porn. I gave it a rest for a while and started noticing guys over time. Straight males can also be hooked on gay porn and even think they are turning gay, but in real life they have no desire to hook up with another dude.
     
    #15 cm81990, Jan 6, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2013
  16. Leakee

    Leakee
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    dude thank so much man. maybe thats it. I tend to only be aroused to porn. going to completely going stop it. maybe thats my biggest problem!
     
    #16 Leakee, Jan 7, 2013
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