Hello! So I'm probably gonna ramble a bit, and I apologize in advance. But recently I've even having issues really knowing who I am. I've been bisexual for 3 years but its more like pan because seriously I could care less what your body is if you're an awesome person I love you, and I just don't identify as that. I'm a female, like, body wise. I'm always saying "my body's a female, but my head's not". I've been at least a tomboy my whole life and recently I've been wearing a binder because... I just don't want to be a girl anymore, if that's really who I am. Or at least not come off as a girl, because it just hasn't felt right recently. So I've been binding with these nylons I cut up and stitched together and a really tight sports bra (which I'm a D cup do its super hard) and wearing clothes to make me look more male and my hair different and stuff but everyone already knows me as a girl and its a bit... Upsetting. I accidentally called myself my boyfriend's boyfriend today and my friend caught it and I'm like you know what? I honestly don't care if I was called a guy. I wish a lot of the time that I didn't have a chest and all that stupid flesh was relocated down south, if you know what I mean, and I do have my girly moments, it just feels like.. I shouldn't be? Just admitting it, though, that feels fake too, so in stuck not wanting to be a girl but unable to admit to a guy or both? So any advice would be awesome. I haven't said anything really to like anyone and my boyfriend is straight as a ruler so I don't know how he'd take it but I don't want to risk it yet, and to my family... Wow. Lets just stick to, what do you guys and gals and anyone else think? And a banana, because I've fallen in love with this thing (!) thanks
I'm a G, believe it or not. And some days I just want to cut them off :tears: Could simply be chest dysphoria combined with penis envy. I don't feel like I have chest dysphoria but some days I just really wish I didn't have breasts at all, and it sometimes gets so extreme that I wish I got breast cancer so they can be removed :eek: I'm not able to wear the shirts I like because they never fit around my chest area. I cannot find sexy bras (at a reasonable price) because they simply don't make them in my size, so I'm stuck with having to wear those really ugly old-fashioned ones. It makes me even more depressed and I'm embarrassed to remove my shirt in front of others because of this. Don't really have advice for you, but just wanted to let you know, I can relate
I suggest you explore the different 'flavours' of genderqueer. You don't have to be a man, a woman or both. You can be neither. Or switch among them depending on the day. Maybe you'll find something that fits you. Or maybe you won't. I can't help much as I'm still confused myself.
It sounds like you probably have some form of gender... stuff. It can be a tough thing to get your head around, so don't rush yourself.