No idea what my gender is...

I don't know enough about this to help, but I know that being dead but definitely not be better! I hope you feel better soon, maybe try not to define yourself for a while and maybe you will figure everything out along the way.

 

Mostly what Kgirl said... Just don't rush yourself. And if you need to talk, I'm here.

 

I'm going through the exact same thing! It's super stressful! BUT try to be optimistic and not look towards death. A life after stress and confusion is way better than death.

I honestly don't think I am MtF or Gender Dysphoric, for I believe my mind is in pretty good equilibrium with my body. However, sometimes I catch myself saying "I'm not a boy/man" and sometimes I say "I totally am a guy." I constantly test out and question myself saying "Oh, I'm totes a woman/female/girl" and they bother me. It's just not me.

I'm pretty sure I'm happy being male-ish. The word just resonates with. 'Female' kinda does, and 'woman' is an okay word. But the terms 'guy' and 'male' reassure me, and I like identifying with them. They're cool ass words.

Maybe I'm super effeminate, maybe I'm genderqueer, bigendered, or even agendered with a penis. I guess it's remotely possible I'm some slight Mtf, or maybe I have a strong inner female, but I seriously, seriously doubt it. All I know is that seeing a guidance counsellor seriously helped. He pretty much summed up that I'm way too anxious and such.

My piece of advice for you is: Get out, exercise, talk with friends, DO NOT WORRY. If you find yourself worrying, just saw "I'm okay now". It is completely true of a statement, because we are all okay; nothing is wrong or fatal with us.

Anyways, that's it! I hope my advice helped and you come to terms with your identity, because all this gender and orientation schlock is all about our identity.

 

^ this is simply not true and anyone who tells you or treats you otherwise is wrong.

Trans* is an umbrella terms for so many identities. A few months ago when I really started to question my gender identity, I felt like I was so in the middle between cisgender and transsexual that I didn't belong with either camp. But there's a lot of ground in the middle, as evidenced by the near overwhelming number of words for people's gender identities.

My girlfriend is trans* and gave me the 'wtf are you talking about' look when I told her I didn't feel trans* enough to talk about my gender issues wi her or my other trans* friends.
I belong under the umbrella for trans* people and it sounds like you do too, even if the exact identity word is still unclear.

Explore yourself and how you feel and try to stay calm. It'll be okay and you'll figure it out, but in the meantime don't panic. You belong no matter how you identify and there are always people here to listen. (&&&)

 

Explore it and don't try to throw yourself into a category.

 

you are human.
you are something queer.
you need a label so you can feel you know you...but in the end you all ready do...cuz you have known you all your life!

like another poster said, transgender even covers tomboys in some definitions I read...so pretty much if you are slightly not cis-gender at all, you can accept you are a part of 2 camps: queer and or transgender, your choice if you want both.

any other label is just a word. I know, i want my label too, then i can toss it aside when i don't want labels anymore. but DEATH? no...until you started questioning you didn't need death, you needed sleep, water, food, shelter, clothing and love.
you still get them, so dwell on what you have for now, not a word you have not.

 

I can completely relate to this yay