I have been questioning my gender for about 6 months and I can't figure out if I'm just a masculine female or FtM or somewhere in between. Whenever I think I have it figured out I start to have doubts. I really want to get this fihured out so I can talk to my friends and do something about it. How do I tell if I'm just a masculine female or trans*?
When I find myself questioning my gender identity, I will "try on" a label for a bit and see how it feels. I would refer to myself in the pronouns that that label uses for the day. This helped me figure out that I am more of a little bit of everything (I'm usually more on the masculine end though) and not just male or female.
Just a few questions for you to think about how does it feel to have breasts or not having a penis? how does it feel to look at yourself in the mirror or while your having a bath/shower? have you ever thought why don't I have a penis (not just as a young child) has anyone asked if you are a boy or a girl before? if they did how did you feel? How does wearing girls clothing/ guys clothing make you feel?
thanks for replying As to your questions, mothcaterpillar: I hate having breasts but I can't bind unitll I tell my parents, I tried bandages but I can't wear them for more than half an hour befor they slip and they restrict breathing. I used to think about having a penis when I was younger but I'm not to bothered by that. I hate having female genitals but I don't particularily want male ones either but thats probably to do with me being asexual. I was always mistaken for a boy when I was younger, I wouldn't bother to correct them because I liked being called a boy. The only time I really wear girly clothes is when I have to look smart cos my mum doesn't like me looking like a boy. Girly clothes make me feel really uncomfortable. I have the a pair of girls jeans and a few jumpers but they are androgynous so I don't mind them. I think I answered them all
ok now mine! Socially, do women talk in ways that seem obvious to each other as they are clucking and you feel confused how they all thought the same? When with a group of guys do you feel so close to being at home let slip a bit and be yourself, and they crack up and think you are most awesome tomboy ever? when in mixed company, do guys get your way of thinking and girls look at you and say you are weird? Next: Did you notice as a child you admired adult men like uncle, teacher, president, ball player, astronaught, whatever, but not in an i want to mary that dreamboat way, instead something in mind said become like him be a great man? When you have female role models, do you find less connection/bond to them as your gender than male ones, and which do you have more of and why? Do female ones make you feel you want to find a girl just like her to cherish, or do you want to be just like her as a cool female: like a doctor or astronaught woman? Next: as a child, you ever have a sudden strong urge or need to dress in boys clothes or hide in a room and daydream you were a famous male? when watching cartoons or tv shows as a child, ever daydream you were them...and it was male or female character you became? when you did play with boy toys or boy games or fix something with tools as a boy does...did you feel a surge of joy and pride and a feeling like this is your real life?
There's some pitfalls being said in this thread that I would like to address: not all trans people felt like they were the wrong sex since childhood. Some don't feel that way until their teens or even far into adulthood. The fact that this happens later in life for some doesn't invalidate them as trans. Also, not all trans people necessarily hate their bodies. Some are just indifferent, but they know that their gender identity doesn't match. Also, clothes aren't gender identity. They're gender expression, which is completely different. I know an FtM who wears dresses and skirts still. Not because he's still trying to be a woman, but because he is confident enough in his masculinity to allow himself the freedom to wear what he wants. These are just some things to keep in mind.
Wow, that’s a lot of questions, I’ll try and answer them. I got a bit confused what you meant about the first bit but I will answer the rest. I have been to a girls school for the last 5 years, the only boys are in sixth form and there is only about 20 of them. Because of this I have never really had many close friends who are boys. I go to scouts though, that is mostly boys and I get their way of thinking much more than I do for most of the girls at my school. My best friends are all tomboys and one is FtM but past that most girls say I’m weird I think I did this when I was a child but I don’t really rememeber much. I don’t really have any female role models. I have always had a strong urge to wear boys clothes and I do unless my mum gets stress about it. When watching TV I have often daydreamed that I was one of the male characters, never really female characters. I really enjoyed playing with my brothers toys and would get very jealous when my dad would teach my brother things like how to change a plug socket and other stuff all boys should know. So there are my answers to your questions
That sounds familiar I loved my brother's toys but equally I enjoyed playing with dolls n my toys I resented my brother throughout my childhoold cos I thought he was perfect being that he is male and they always seemed to treat him better (maybe that's a "the grass is always greener on the other side" thing though)
