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16 and hopelessly confused, trans or lesbian?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by kitcass, Feb 12, 2013.

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  1. kitcass

    kitcass
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    iv'e always been more comfortable with guys, even when i was a kid. i've despised all things girly since i could walk, and i know there's plenty of other girl who feel the same way, but lately i've been questioning.

    i'm only 16, and my horny phase has really only started coming on in the past year or so. but it's never me and a guy, its always a woman. so i'm gay, whatever that's fine, but it didn't stop there. in my, uh, fantasies, i'm a guy. and as far as talking goes, it's so much easier to talk to guys and do things they like to do. i have plans to go into the military and the idea of dicks everywhere doesn't disgust or turn me on, while rooming with women would make me super nervous. whenever i imagine my future, it's always me and a girl, i feel happy when i think of myself taking a girl out and paying for dinner and opening doors for her and buying flowers, but i'm 16, and while that's still young that's really late to first be realizing these feelings. any more experienced people out there willing to give me some advice?


    i've come out to a few close guy friends and my favorite cousin as gay and i feel like i also have to add my parents are, um, republicans. so no matter what i decide i still have to fake it for two years and would have to pay for hormone treatment and surgery on my own once i'm out of the house or i'll get disowned

    thanks!
     
    #1 kitcass, Feb 12, 2013
  2. flyinhernikes

    flyinhernikes Guest

    16 isnt too young to figure out feelings nor is it too old.
    its not that uncommon for lesbians to imagine themselves as a guy when they fantasize.
    fantasys are diff from real life. youre 16 a lot of the time you might feel one way today then diff the next, hormones they suck haha.

    women can hold doors buy flowers and do all of those things.
    trans people from what i understand have body dysphoria. how would you feel about people addressing you as sir or 'hey dude'. do you hate your body? do you wish certain things about you could change? how do you feel when youre on your period? of course you dont have tot tell me any of the answers but its something to think about.

    have you ever got mistaken for a guy? if so how did you feel.
    from what you say though you dont sound very dysphoric. not that that is the only thing about trans people it isnt but its a part of it... sorry if im wrong trans people i mean no offence!
     
    #2 flyinhernikes, Feb 12, 2013
  3. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Do you have dysphoria about your body? Are you distressed about being female? Do you want other people to address you as male, or do you care about that?

    Since you don't seem really distressed about being female, I would suggest exploring butch and genderqueer identities before jumping to the conclusion that you need to transition.

    Send me a pm and I can give you some resources. (You should be able to PM me, because I am on staff here.)
     
    #3 Ianthe, Feb 12, 2013
  4. SparkleDuck

    SparkleDuck
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    Just as the poster above said-
    If someone is trans, they are distressed about being their birth gender. I know I pretty much hate myself because I have a female body, some days it's so bad I don't leave the house.
    But if you are completely content in being of female body, than maybe you're just a lesbian. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a girl who possesses masculine traits/ dislikes stereotypical "female" things.
    But if you're still feeling like you might be trans, you can always message me if you would like to just talk some things out - I know that can help a lot in situations like this.
     
    #4 SparkleDuck, Feb 12, 2013
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