I usually do not whine and cry a lot, but today is different. Today I have been in a constant state of sadness and depression because I am feeling like I can never have the gender/body that I feel like I should have been born with. I don't know why today of all days I get down, but my sister and I were shopping for comfies and this older lady got mad and said I don't belong in the store and I should feel ashamed of myself. My older sister, Lindsey is a fire cracker and 1 of 3 supporters I have, she went off and put the older lady in her place, but ruined the day. I look in the mirror and want to die. I am so depressed and tired of seeing this incorrect body wrapped around this delicate soul. I am the Beast in the mirror and Belle in my heart. I really don't see much point in living like this anymore. I wish someone would just swoop me up and carry me away and live happily ever after. If I could I would just sleep until Prince(or Princess) Charming comes to my rescue. I feel like I will never be who I am on the inside, I'll never be loved/wanted, if I were a weaker lass I wouldn't be breathing (or typing) right now. I'm so scared all the time. My two sisters and I are close and they are pretty tough, especially when their sister is being picked on or discriminated against, but I still fear for them. I am not the smallest person, I'm tall and well built and still can hit like a man, but it doesn't do much good if you get cornered by a bunch of homophobic, ignorant, and hateful bastards. Funny thing is these men that I am so afraid of would probably want me sexually if I was fully transitioned. I want to give up so bad, but I am still hanging on even if by a mere thread. I'm so lonely. I'm sorry for the depressing thread, it's just been a tough one.:tears:
I'm sorry your dysphoria is really bringing you down. (*hug*) People are cruel, but stay true to yourself. You are a woman and no one can tell you otherwise. One day you'll have the correct body and your soul will be at peace. Just stay strong.
Have a hug sweetie... (*hug*) We all have these bad days where we feel like we just want to give up and stop breathing, but you will be the woman you want to be. The ignorant and bigoted people in the world don't understand what you're going through and never will. The thing that you have to remember above all else is that you are beautiful and you are strong enough to make it through these days, and when it's over it will all be worth it. It will be worth the struggle and when you come out of it, no one will be able to touch you because you'll be too far over their heads with joy. You don't have to worry about being beautiful because you ARE beautiful already. You don't have to worry about someone loving you because you ARE loved already, and there will be many, many more people to come and admire and love you for who you are. I hope you feel better sweetie, send me a message if you ever need to talk or just vent some stress. (*hug*)
I know how you feel sis. (*hug*) I wish I could hold you tightly and cry along with you. Certain threads on the forums have made me feel the exact same way today. Try to keep your hopes up and pray that it passes quickly. Just remember that all of us are here with you. Try to stay strong hun. (&&&)
Really sorry to hear that(*hug*).... im glad your sister stoop to that old hag... i would too...:tantrum: where a door closes there's a window and you shouldnt feel that way... one day you will get the right body for your soul:eusa_danc and your life is way to precious so please dont give up now... if you want to talk everyone here on EC will be there for ya (&&&) this neat group will always have eachothers back and thats why i like this group...its like family and there will always be someone in EC who knows exactly what your going through.. so hold your head high and be proud of who you are and hope fully one day you can get surgery so you'd finally be the girl that you know, and we know you are...(*hug*)
^ I'm really sorry to hear of what happened today, it's tough dealing with ignorant people and being told wrong, when it's your right. I hope you find comfort soon. (*hug*)
