Transitioning effecting sexuality?

If you are taking testosterone, it might just be the increase in you sex drive. I mean, if you had even minor attractions to people before, they may become more intense because of that, so that you would be more aware of them. It doesn't sound like you've stopped being attracted to anyone you were attracted to previously.

 

Gender and sexuality are completely different but it does still change after transition for some people. One girl's video explained it to me really well when she said you shouldn't try to figure out your sexuality before your gender issues.

One part of it is that there's alot of envy involved in dysphoria that might have been intensifying your attraction to men and their appealing qualities for more reasons than just sex. Your thoughts about women just probably weren't as frequent or as positive as those at the time but now you're able to notice them more.

Another common thing might be wanting to be desired by women specifically as a man rather than having them think of you as a woman. Even people whose conscious attractions don't change have issues with being wanted for the qualities they're not comfortable with in themselves.

And yes, hormones do alot of weird things too, especially testosterone! :icon_wink

So good luck, and dont worry too much about who you end up attracted to.

 

I considered myself Queer before and after starting transition, but I do feel as though the way I'm attracted to both genders has changed. Physically I think I've actually gotten far more attracted to men. Before it was like I wanted to be with men, but I was kind of forcing it because I didn't feel an initial attraction most of the time. I liked their chest and genitals, but the average man did nothing for me. However, I feel like I have a more... genuine attraction now. I like it. I feel like I'm attracted to people in the way a woman is more than how a man is.

One thing is for sure, I don't know if I'd say the changes have been drastic enough to call it a change in orientation, but it has definitely changed. Though it should really come as no surprise to have your sexual attractions change after completely replacing your testosterone with estrogen.

 

I think being accepting myself might have changed things for me but I'm kind of questioning too. I thought I was bi or pan but now wonder if I was just kind of deprived of friendship with other women for a while and got confused by just sort of wishing I'd had that.

 

I don't want to be offensive or anything, but the body is programmed to be straight. Gay people can't have kids and are the minority, so you might say "it's more natural" to be straight. Since as a biological woman you were straight, it stands to reason that testosterone would switch your orientation, if not completely, at least partially.

 

Same sex attraction evolved for a reason. It is flawed and offensive to refer to imply it is not normal.

 

I'm not offended, but that's sounding an awful lot more like your personal opinion than anything with research behind it. I'm sure many gay people would be happy to tell you that their bodies weren't programmed to be straight. And some of them will probably have the research to back up their position.

You're taking a really controversial position here without evidence and I don't think you realize that. You seem like you knew it would be controversial at least since you mentioned not wanting to be offensive. But it feels like you didn't know exactly why. That's why someone would be offended. When you use language like "it stands to reason" with people that might disagree with you, it is just plain exhausting and hard to even read.

It does not stand to reason. I've reasoned through the problem and arrived at a different answer. What's more natural is to act in accord with your natural impulses when those natural impulses don't hurt people, and accept the things about yourself you can't change, and to learn to not be ashamed of those things and to even be proud of yourself for embracing who you are in a world that's hostile to people like you. What's completely unnatural is coming up with some statistical model where you say "okay, most people are cis gendered and straight" and then trying to impose that on yourself.

But I mean, when you say things like that, you've closed the door on conversation. You got your side out, and now no one can respond. I mean people can respond, but you've made it clear your mind is made up. You already know how the world works, and none of us can tell you any different. That is the part that would have offended me if I thought it was intentional and didn't do the same thing myself.

I really hope I'm being nice and polite here and apologize in advance if I wasn't. I'm really glad you just came out and said something, because otherwise how else are you going to know more than that people get offended? How are you gonna know why people get offended? Hopefully I did a good job explaining the why part.

---------- Post added 17th Mar 2013 at 04:21 AM ----------

Now having said that, if you are a little more open minded, I'd like to argue against your position a little.

I get that it seems like I'm using a different definition of normal here. But I'm not. You're saying that the body is going to shift to align with some kind of a template. It's going to try to maintain a "normal" straight orientation, right? Well I'm saying that if someone is already gay or trans, their template already tells them "you're gay" or "you're in a wrongly gendered body". That is their "normal". And if their orientation is changing, their "normal" is changing. And your "normal" changing is a very real and scary thing for some people!

Now it may very well be that some person out there has a sexuality that's controlled by their hormones. Maybe a lot of people. And it looks like that's what might be happening in the OP. So in a sense, your argument can hold up a little. But it's got nothing to do with what's "normal" between people, because there are definitely people whose sexuality is a more mental process or isn't controlled directly by hormones. A lot of people retain their original orientation all the way through HRT. Sexuality is a really hard thing to understand and I'm not even going to try at a theoretic level. I'd rather figure out how math and computers work.

 

OP, I'm still very attracted to women, but I'm also pre hormones. I'm prepared for some shift if it happens. I think the idea that the woman I become might end up straight was scary once upon a time. But I feel like having some time to express my gender has made the idea a little less bothersome. I'm still very exclusively attracted to other women. Honestly, much more so when I'm in "girl mode". Just the idea of not being into other girls became less intimidating when I stopped viewing myself as a guy at all to begin with. If that makes sense.

 

I don't think this is true. My body is not programmed to be straight. I went through the pray the gay away, years and years of seeing a shrink, and various other wasy my parents came up with until I ran away from them at 18. They tried to hook me up with many perfect bodied women who were to be my first and to fix me. Through it all I still am the woman I always have been with the wrong body. In all the years I can think of, I have never felt the slightest bit male, or attracted to women in any way. June

 

When I started transition... sex was evil to me... now that I am in it a few months I find myself bisexual in nature... and since I have to take Estrogen for the rest of my life... well screw it... I find myself dreaming about men alot... but straight men bagin a girl... I also dream about going out for Spanish food... especially fish tacos... okay that was a bad pun but still I don't like anal sex in any way... so... I dunno...

 

Well. Hormones can effect your reactions to pheromones (such as scent) produced by both genders, particular toward the opposite. Not necessarily a deciding factor but just might spark some interest in them. Regardless, listen to yourself. if you happen to have a shift, so be it!

 

I've heard of several cases where sexuality has changed slightly due to hormones. That's why a lot of people choose not to date until they're on hormones to see if anything does change.

 

I think a better wording for it would be that our physical bodies and anatomy were designed to be heterosexual, rather than some form of brain programming. You have a penis and vagina for a reason. Whatever you desire to do with those genitals is mostly a psychological thing in your brain. We all have the equipment for heterosexuality. Homosexuality is a variation of sexual orientation which is primarily psychological. Whether or not you want to call it a positive or negative thing is a value judgment, not scientific fact. It is what it is.

I personally think the lack of heterosexual desire is abnormal and a defect. Your brain wiring or whatever controls sexual orientation (still a mystery) does not respond to the sight of the opposite sex, which is necessary to procreate. That is my opinion. Of course you can live a happy gay life, but would it bother me if they did find a way to fix it? No. Would I fix it? Not really sure, but I'm all pro-choice. If it's okay to abort an unborn child, then it is okay to fix or alter homosexuality. Just my opinion.

 

I'm literally like half asleep right now so I'm not going to get in depth with this response but I may at a later time.

It is true that human bodies have evolved to accommodate heterosexual sex, but it is also true that the body of humans and many other animals evolved in a manner to accommodate homosexual sex. The location of the prostate in how it stimulated by a penis is not a coincidence. There is some evolutionary reason why homosexual sex developed. More than likely it started in our distant ancestors as a means of establishing a social hierarchy or something to that effect. The fact is, its not a coincidence that gay sex feels good. It feels good because something about the practice of homosexual sex caused those groups that engaged in it to survive better.

Also, homosexuality is not regarded to be a birth defect but rather a simple genetic issue. Statistically homosexuality is so prevalent that it is impossible for so many gay people to exist if the gay gene didn't help us to survive as a species. Perhaps I'll explain these theories in greater detail tomorrow. Or perhaps I won't. Depends on if it still seems relevant.

 

Believe or not, but there is actually nothing wrong with this statement. We are in a way exception to the rule, therefore there is something that can be called "norm". That's just simple logic. And this "norm" is more then 50% of human population. Why? Because, what is "normal" is always in majority. But, there is some portion of human population that has all these sexual fantasies, that they cannot explain and they are neither gay or lesbian. They are actually, "norm" for our group, I call this group "H", in terms of numbers, group H is larger than LGBT, but smaller then pure heterosexual group.

There is real underlying reason why we are the way we are and it has to do with hormones, that are passed from mother to a child during pregnancy. There is actually set of hormones, one of them sends information of what type of organs should be developed (vagina or penis) and other hormones counteract this transition. So it happens that in our case, we got incorrect organs and we are exposed to the effects of transition. We did not receive that hormone, that's why we feel like we are in a wrong body. Groups H + LGB, got that hormone, but in different dosage. They do not feel discomfort with their bodies.

Couple days ago I read an article written by a prof. who confirmed my suspicion. He denounced his previous work publicly and said about these hormones. But right now scientist, cannot proof this theory, they just know that something like this happens.

 

It's not just logic though, it's semantics. "Normal" can mean lots of things. Even with statistics, the 50% or more definition is usually useless and the wrong one to use thanks to outliers.

In English, what I mean is that if you have five people, and they have $1, $2, $3, $4, and $100, then 80% of the people have a "less than average" amount of money in their pocket. Only one person has more than $55. Even the other average, $21, seems a little off. But if you use the median, that's $3. And if you wanted to figure out what a "normal" amount of money is here, it makes more sense to use $3 than $21 or $55. Make sense?

So with gender identity and orientation, the OP was asking about how "normal" it is for trans* people to have their orientation change. So when you include the entire non-trans population and then try to figure out what "normal" or "natural" is starting there, you end up with an answer that isn't really helpful for trans* people.

Hey everyone though, I really feel bad for my reply because I think I helped kinda get this conversation off the rails. I really have fun talking about this stuff and if someone wants to make another thread I'll jump in, but I really feel like we aren't being supportive to the OP any more. This is a real person with a really scary problem. I mean imagine you just came to terms with the fact that your gender doesn't match your sex. And then you went through a lot of work coming up with your new identity. And then something really a core part of that new identity just changed. I mean that would suck a lot wouldn't it?

 

Do not feel bad That's why we are questioning who we are. Actually, people should talk about this things more, even with "normal" people

 

:lol: good point