For most of my life I've identified as a straight guy. I did have a few fantasies about male classmates when I was a teenager but they kind of went away after a bit. I do like sometimes wearing women's underwear (hence my name), but I never really thought of that as having anything to do with sexual orientation. Recently, though, things have got a little confusing. I'm still very much attracted to women but lately I've really wanted to have sex with another man. And I mean something proper passionate - deep kissing, running my hands all over his body, love bites, the works! I'm a virgin, never had sexual contact with a man or a woman. Sad story, I know, but I've never had the confidence to ask a girl out. So can I really know for sure if I'm straight if I've never had sex with a woman? Vaginas do arouse me, but I prefer women with really small breasts, small bums and more of a boyish figure in general. Could this have anything to do with these sexual thoughts about men? What should I do? I think I'd like to hook up with a guy so I can satisfy my curiosities but I'm shy... Any advice would be really appreciated
Being a virgin myself, perhaps my advice isn't the fairest, but... Was the guy you wanted physically openly gay (or some identity that would consider relationships with men)? If not, you are fantasizing (which isn't your fault) instead of trying things out for yourself. Get up the courage to ask someone (who is looking for a male) out and see if you'd like to know them better. Tell them beforehand that you're not sure about your sexual orientation but think that you'd like to know them. Also, I don't think having a preference for a certain type of woman defines your sexual orientation. If you get to know a person and still feel those physical urges for them, then I would think you're compatible with their sex. Ideally though, their gender shouldn't matter in dating(except at the beginning, when you have nothing else to go on).
Sorry, I wasn't very clear in my first post. I'm not attracted to a specific guy, I just find the idea of getting intimate with a man exciting. One thing I know for sure is that I am definitely not into big, muscular men. I'd definitely rather sleep with a smaller, slim guy. If I'm not just "going through a phase", that is... Any advice on how I should approach satisfying my curiosities? I thought going to a gay club with my lesbian best friend and dancing with guys would be a good approach but now I'm not so sure... Surely it would be off-putting to a gay guy that I'm mostly "straight"?
I think a lot of bi people prefer dating other's who aren't overly masculine or feminine - tomboyish girls and slim, slender guys. I'm certainly attracted to androgynousness in either gender (if that isnt an oxymoron?). Not saying you're definitely bisexual, but that could certainly fit. Personally, I wouldn't suggest just hooking up for sex with anyone as a general rule, but that's my bias. Is this a recent revelation in your sexual fantasizing? If so, I'd give try to not pressure myself into deciding anything for a while, and if you think you might not be totally straight still after that time, then maybe try the gay bar idea a few times, just to meet some people and see where it goes/how it feels.
I'm not sure I'd want to hook up for sex straight away but I would like to try an intimate kiss with a man. I have been to a gay club once and some guys were checking me out so maybe I should just get chatting to some guys like you said. I'm a little unsure of how my best friend is taking my curiosities as well. She acts supportive but something's not quite right... it's like she's a little uncomfortable about the idea. It seems strange to me as I thought she would appreciate having another gay/bi friend... Should I talk to her about it?
