I identify as a FtM transgender person because I like that term the best and I feel it describes me the best. However, people always tell me I don't "seem" trans*, or that I seem like [insert gender here]. Sometimes I don't even identify male, but I identify as neutral. My mom is insisting that I'm agender because she thinks I act like it. I know I'm male, but I still like to wear makeup sometimes and even wear feminine clothing. That just confuses my parents and makes them think I'm not really trans*, but when I feel neutral I love to wear makeup because I'm artsy. I never really identify as female, though I read Seventeen magazine for fun and have a million shades of eyeshadow. Is it weird to identify as male but still have some "female" traits? No matter how I'm presenting I want to be referred to with male pronouns and by my preferred name, Jack. Basically what I'm asking is: Do other peoples observations of me not seeming trans* hold any validity?
To you I will say what my girlfriend says to me. Nobody can tell you that you're not trans*. But anyway, their arguments don't make any sense. There are all kinds of gender identities and expressions. Is it wrong for a cismale to be effeminate? No (although they get flack for it too) And that's why its not weird to be a trans* guy who has feminine traits as well. There are people who identify female who basically never (for example, my girlfriend). There are plenty of people who identify as male who frequently do (my best friend). Your gender expression and identity are two different things and can be whatever you feel is most 'you'. So, tell them they're wrong and be who you are.
I hate this "not trans* enough" malarky. No such thing. Hell, I am a boy with hips, curves, and hair much longer than your typical cismale. I'm still very much trans*. I sometimes wear makeup, and I sometimes wear female pyjama bottoms. Doesn't mean I'm a cis, all-around female. Your gender expression is yours. Don't let others judge you for you, or police your gender. The only person who knows as well as you do about yourself, is you. There's no set-in-stone way to be trans*.
Everyone's journey is individual! Trans or not people still all have different personality traits, the don't effect your gender just who you are as a person. Lots of men do girly things, i have a friend that just loves womens shoes and what i think are girls TV shows but he keeps it quiet causes hes quite the typical teenage lad. Same as many girls do typically boy things like play footy.
Be yourself. Not who others want you to be. Quote from ironman when he's giving a speech is awesome for that...can't remember exactly but it was along the lines "I refuse to be (the man) who everyone expects me to be."
(*hug*)There is no right or wrong way. Do what feels right for you. Shut out all the outside influences and listen to your inner self, do what your inner self says feels right, and don't let the voice of society poison your inner voice/thoughts. It's a tough world out there. Good luck!!!(&&&)
I think that only YOU can know for sure whether you're trans* or not. Others cannot look inside your head, can they? They how can they ever judge? And as being a guy in a female body it would be possible or likely that you have gotten some female traits over time, right? People SEE you as a female, EXPECT you to be one and then you start ACTING like on eventually...
They absolutely do not. What good reason is there for women wearing makeup but not men. Some eyeliner on a guy is uber sexy >.< it's just a bunch of nonsensical gender norms that people follow so others don't think they are gay. It's our misogynistic society that's the problem. Rock that makeup out bro.
Societal expectations of how one should act if one is a particular gender are just that; expectations. Expectations are not rules, especially when they're trying to tell you that what you know is wrong because they think something different. It may well be confusing for them when you are refusing to abide by societal expectations but then what good are those expectations if they do not tally up with who you are? They may have their reasons, and they may be perfectly valid interpretations, but at the end of the day you know what you feel comfortable with and who you are. Makeup, clothing and magazines may be targeted at a certain audience, but they are by no means restricted to them.
Gender identity and gender expression are separate things. I don't wear a bra or make-up, or like shopping for clothes, or a lot of stereotypically feminine interests. Doesn't make me any less female.
It is really, really sexist to think that just because you don't act in a certain way you must not be a girl. People can dress and act however they want without needing to refer to themselves as trans, their gender PRESENTATION has no affect on their gender IDENTITY. If you are confused about your gender identity, ask yourself if you would consider yourself male if you lived somewhere where gender roles were absent.
