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So confused

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ciel, Mar 18, 2013.

  1. Ciel

    Ciel Guest

    I'm not sure how to explain this but I'll try my best.. I'm 21 and I was born as a female. As many people before me I have found out it is not my true gender. I'm sure a lot of you people can understand how that feels, since some of you have been there. However, my case is different from any I have found and/or read about so far. It leaves me feeling so confused and I'm not sure how to deal with it. My mind feels like a chaos. You see, I do not desire to be a "real" manly-man, but something in between. I think femboy is the word closest to it. I want to be a feminine boy... I am so confused at this and feel alone at this. If I heard about it before it was the other way around, from someone born as a male. Are there any cases like mine? Is it normal? What should I do?

    Thank you for reading this and I appreciate all the help I can get. Sorry if it is a little vague, but I find it hard to bring into words properly I guess...
     
  2. Niko

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    Gender expression and gender identity are two different things. You may want to express yourself as a femme guy which is completely fine, but what do you identify as? I myself identify as male, but I too don't see myself or want to be a manly man.

    Now, you know that you're not a female on the inside, but do you feel like a guy? Or do you feel like neither of the two? Maybe both? There are several different gender identies out there, so it's not just strictly male and female.
     
  3. Valkyrimon

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    There are lots of feminine men out there. Don't think that because you're this much effeminate or this much something else that you're not a man. It's a spectrum. If you feel like a feminine man, then that's who you are. Go with what feels right.
     
  4. Yamato

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    Trans men are just as diverse as cis men. There are more femenine trans men and really manly FtMs. Being a femenine man does not invalidate you in anyway. If you want to be a feminine boy then go for it, its completely fine not to be really manly, most people aren't.
     
  5. Ciel

    Ciel Guest

    Thank you all for your kind responses. I really do appreciate it. And it has helped a lot. Now I feel I can be more accepting of the real me. Which is great. I am glad I have found this place where I can be who I really am, and be accepted for it. I was always afraid to do so before, but now that I have been able to take the step of sharing this it feels like a weight has fall off my shoulders. (&&&)

    @Niko: I do identify myself as a male. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Ciel, Mar 18, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 18, 2013
  6. PurpleRain

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    As long as you identify as a male then it doesn't matter if you're super feminine or the most manly guy on the planet, you're a male. We all come in different packages. I'm a woman and I fit the woman stereotype pretty closely in some ways, but in others I'm more masculine. I know how you feel because I had the same problem when I came out to myself. I was always second guessing myself until I realized that it's ok if you aren't completely feminine or masculine. Even cisgender people aren't a perfect fit for their stereotypical roles. We're all just a little different. I hope this helps sweetie, and I'm glad you're finding out who you are. (*hug*) :grin:
     
  7. PleaseHelp

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    You don't have to be super manly to be a guy. I consider myself female, but I'm not a girly girl. I'm not butch either, I'm feminine with tomboyish tendencies. As long as you see yourself as what you feel you are, that's what matters
     
  8. Ciel

    Ciel Guest

    Thank you both so much and sorry for my slow reply!
    I have been reading through a lot, and I now know I'm not alone and that it is perfectly fine to be a little different. I know who the real me is, and that's what matters. :slight_smile: After some time of searching I came to understand there are actually quite a lot of us who identify with something close or something in between. For the first time I'm starting to feel great! I still have quite a way to go, but I feel better than I have so far.

    Thank you all again for the help and support. I don't know what I would do without you all. You really helped. *hugs*