I am going through something similar. I have always thought myself to be bi, up until 5 years ago. One day it hit me that I was gay. I was shocked, appalled, and scared. I had always supported LGBT rights since 2006. Things started to make since. I had married and divorced 3 times and have 4 kids...and never cared for having sex, I only did it for the affection and the circumstances. I first married when I was 16. I had a gf in high school. Anyways I came to terms with it and became very happy, the happiest I had ever been. I had the gay discussion with my mother a week after I got married the last time and when I told her I thought I might be gay she looked at me and said that is okay, she already know I was. I recently came out to my grandmother then the hardest.....my two oldest kids. My daughter was disgusted at first then was fine with it and liked my gf. My son said he already knew. Well me and her later broke up. I had a rough time dealing with it. I met a guy who wanted me to give him a chance knowing I was gay. I grew an obsessive attachment like I had with my marriages. He be became violent and it ended, then I jumped into another relationship with a guy. He is very sweet and amazing. But he keeps talking about me being straight now which I will never be. He always wanted sex and it got to be where it almost felt like rape and I would get sick from it. I left... I'm trying to see a woman but at the same time I can't let him go. I don't want to hurt him but it doesn't feel right. Then I was wondering if I'm not giving him a fair chance. But all my marriages wound up like this and all i could do was think about women. What's wrong with me? I can be fine for a little while in a hetero relationship but then things come up....that I'm being to guyish and they want me to act like a lady and dress like a lady. It's like I fight with myself. I long for a lesbian relationship and even one day would like a wife, not a husband. Why can't I accept that I'm a lesbian! I love being a man, acting as a man, but my mind tries to make me think otherwise sometimes. I sometimes wonder if its also a gender identity issue. Please someone help. Sorry this is so long but I needed to explain. I feel like I'm going insane..then I found this site.
You certainly can do that, especially if you live the life of a lesbian instead of giving men a chance. :icon_wink Then you can try out the wide spectrum of roles from very male to very female that you like to play. And if you are still not happy you can become an expert for your gender identity. But now you should focus on your new life with female lovers!
