Usually when I have a bad, dysphoric day, I like to put on my comfy feminine pjs and read or write, and everything calms down; not today. I got out of the bath after shaving my legs and put on my feminine clothes. As I looked down I saw (from the waste down) the figure of an attractive woman, but then I glanced in the mirror and saw waste up, I wanted to vomit. I can not stand this anymore. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. The only therapist I could find doesn't take my insurance and I can't afford her out of pocket. My life is crumbling around me, my work is suffering to the point I'm about to lose my job, school suffered so bad that I had to drop my classes for the semester, and I'm so lonely that if it weren't for my 2 dogs and best friends in the whole world I'd probably go insane. I want so badly to be a woman full time
Have you tried singing in a feminine voice? I usually do that when I am showering. Just close my eyes, and sing. It helps me refocus my mind to an image of myself being a girl, and it is also a good practice for later transition. Just close your eyes and use your imagination. Use some nice girly scent perfume/body lotion too. Convincing your other senses and the other will have an easier time to follow. If possible, have some female clothes/underwear around and wear them when you feel too horrible.
Yeah the girly scented body washes and lotions help a lot. I will definitely try the singing and talking softer/less masculine. It seems like until I hear myself speak or look at a mirror or chest/arms I see and feel that I'm a woman. I generally feel happy until I see myself. I just can't live my life without looking into a mirror.
