gender therapy: what to expect

I think all the gender therapist will do is see if you really have G.I.D. and if you do they' go from there.

But don't let an article or whatever you read, tell you whether you are trans* enough. If you feel like a man in a woman's body than you are trans*.

Watch this, and he might help you with your second guessing.
[YOUTUBE]Zkf2-iMnZ54[/YOUTUBE]

 

You don't have to have dysphoria to be transgender. You know what you want to do in your future, and that is be a man, and so you are. Starting the real life experience is a big step, and sometimes it can take time to prepare for that. Hesitation is not a sign that you aren't trans enough.

What you can expect, and how you want to approach the therapy depends on what the purpose of the session is for you. Are you looking for support in deciding whether to transition or are you looking for therapist approval to get hormone therapy?

If you're looking to decide whether or not to transition, then you can expect to be prompted to talk about your experiences relating to gender, and just talk, and talk, and talk. At least in my experience, the therapist won't tell you what to do, or what s/he thinks about anything you say.

For me, there was always a belief in my family that one was supposed to be unsure about life decisions, so I convinced myself that I needed to talk to someone, and that since I wasn't willing to tell my parents or friends, at that point anyway, that it would be the therapist. I talked about my own life until I realised he really wasn't going to tell me whether or not I was trans, until I concluded I hadn't really needed to talk about it in the first place.

If you are looking to get diagnosed and get approval for hormones or surgery, then honesty is... optional. I can't tell you what to do, but I quickly learnt that things move faster if you say as little as possible about doubts or insecurities as possible.

 

Having dysphoria about you're genitals isn't a requirment for being trans as others have already said.

That being said not everyone believes that and sometimes the people who don't can be medical providers or therapists, but sometimes not. I've not had to deal with a mental/physical health care provider telling me I need to want to have surgeries but I know others who have had to deal with that. Just something to keep in mind and ask counselors about if you do ever decide you want to try to find a therapist who can write letters of recomendation for something transition related.

 

If the idea of transition isn't at least a little scary, you haven't thought about it long enough.

If there's anyone in your life that's against the idea, even a little bit, you will have very real doubts.

And no one but you can tell you if you are trans* anything. I feel a little bad sharing my experience sometimes, because with me it was more something I knew early on, but fought against. But my experience doesn't have any effect on yours. If you started out with the whole idea just not even crossing your mind, and now you're questioning, that's just how it happened for you.

The reason why you hear a lot about people that "always knew" is because we live in a world that would rather talk us out of all of this and get us to stop rocking the boat. The problem is, being transgendered is every bit the real thing that sexuality is. We know this because, for instance, there is a condition kids can have called "cloacal exstrophy". That means basically they are born male, with balls, but no penis. A lot of these kids are surgically "corrected" to be female, and sure enough, they grow up with male gender identities and tend to seek to become male again when they grow up. So we know for a fact that some of whatever gender is comes from a real place. It's just easier getting people to realize that when you can tell them this is the way it has always been.

But two people can catch the same cold and get different symptoms, you know? So that might be the case here. Might not, it's up to you to figure out. Some people just always "knew". You, you went years without the idea of being trans* being something you ever had a chance to consider, and now that you have it's like woah how do I handle this. It's different for everyone is what I'm saying.

The therapist isn't just a gate keeper. At least not if they are a good one. They are someone you can be comfortable talking about these things around. They can help you come out to people. And you can have a little bit of practice being outwardly male around your therapist. They can help you find LGTB groups, or just plain T groups. They can even help you work through your feelings about being trans* and help you decide how far you want to take things.

One thing you may want to consider is the changes hormones will make. For me anyway a huge part of my butterflies come from how hard it is to look feminine. I was a "macho guy" when I was closeted. One of the things I did and still do is lift weights. Now I do it just because it's the easiest way to keep my metabolism up so I burn off my belly fat because I so hate that even more. Sorry I'm rambling. But what I'm getting at is that hormones really do a lot. Especially with you going from being a female on the outside to a masculine body, they work fast. A lot of trans men get facial hair and look very masculine. Going my way I have seen some people look very feminine after a couple years of hormones that started off more masculine than me.

So what I'm saying is, don't let appearance be the only thing you consider.

As far as what to expect... I really can only comment on some of it. But,

* Therapy visits
* A regular doctor, who can recommend...
* An endo doctor, who will take a blood sample and figure out how hormones will affect your endocrine system and what doses to give you
* A binder for your chest
* T will help a little with your voice, but you will probably want to train this a little
* Probably some diet and exercise recommendations
* And of course, if you go for it, SRS. I think for you this would involve:
* Hysterectomy
* Scrotoplasty
* Several stages of phalloplasty.
* And I /think/ that they can preserve your ability to have orgasms.

I hope I got all that right anyway. Some of that is the same for me but there are some differences, like I'm going to want to get my hair zapped off for instance, and E also won't help with my voice.

Hey I just wanna leave by saying too, you don't have to transition if you don't want to. I am not trying to make you feel like you should even, I'm just giving you info. If you just want to be a man some times on your own terms, just do you. You might want to consider a lifestyle where you can live as a man at least some of the time. If you find an understanding partner, you can experiment being a man around another person some times too.

Whatever it takes for you to live a fulfilling life without secrets is the right answer for you. If the problem is just that you're scared and don't wanna take the steps to get to where you want to be though, you might wanna just think about the end goal. How would it feel if you were a strong and handsome man?

 

Hi Wocket. I see a trans therapist. Ummm, I concur with a lot of what Hexagon wrote. You talk talk talk. also, if being put on hormones or approved for SRS is a goal, then present yourself as having no doubts about it, etc. If you see a good trans therapist, you can expect to come to terms with yourself and accept yourself and know more about yourself. One of my transfriends used to see a trans therapist but he thinks they are ridiculous now. He advised me to write in a journal every day about my transness. And said that that has helped him. So, I have done it, and that helps also. It has helped me become more lucid and understanding. Which can happen at therapy, too.

 

Really, I'm really glad with this thread, as it is exactly what I've been walking around with as well. For a while I thought my lack of serious dysphoria made me 'not a trans', etc. etc.
I have come to terms with myself that I actually AM trans, and that having little to no dysphoria doesn't change that. (there are some things I'm seriously unhappy about, but most of the time I don't think about it. Exactly what you said too; I almost used to see myself as 'genderless' or androgynous. I just didn't think about it, forgot about it, ignored it, maybe even. I suspect to keep myself from going nuts, because I didn't know that it was even POSSIBLE to 'be born in the wrong body' and even if it was, that there were ways to 'fix' this)
So hugs to you all for this terrific topic, as even though I had figured it out for myself, it's great to read it black-on-white too!
When I think about it, you can say I 'always knew', or at least 'always knew' that 'something' wasn't as it should be. But I pushed away those thoughts, told myself they weren't true or worthy, resulting in me eventually (almost) believing that I should have been a girl all along (but if I wouldn't have doubts for so long I really wouldn't have researched it either. At a certain moment I was just like "I have to stop lying, and 'take the red pill'.")

I have to say though, that since I have accepted myself as being trans, and no longer suppressed my 'male' feelings, the gender dysphoria has increased. It's not that it's insanely bad though, and it's probably just enough to make me eventually come out.