So I have to fill out an application for housing at a university in NY and when I select my program, it has 4M/4F by it (there's 8 people in the program.) I put female on my program application back in February because I didn't want them to deny me based on my gender identity and I thought I'd better put my legal gender, so I'm under female for their purposes. But when I fill out the rest of the housing application there's a 3rd gender option that says transgender. So I'm not sure if I should select that, (if I do I might not be living with the other people in the program? I don't really know what will happen) or just suck it up for the summer and keep going how I'm going (meaning not being out to people, which is stressful.) I dunno how open I should be over there, cause in Oklahoma and Colorado it can be a bit unsafe, but I thought it would be better in NY, but I still don't know... I want to be out, but at the same time it's nerve-wracking and I don't want to inconvenience them. I'm also nervous because I want to come out to the people in the program and be called by my correct pronouns, which I haven't before in my life. Er. I hope that made sense, and I would really really like some advice on this. Thanks!
As a guy who has absolutely no experience with transgenderism or signing up for college housing, I'd have to say in my unofficial opinion, to just go ahead and circle the trans option. I'm sure they'll understand. Did the original program app have trans as an option on it?
In general I would think that if there's a transgendered option that would mean that they're inclusive to arrangements that would be beneficial to your orientation. I mean legally they'll need your birth sex for formal things, but I bet that you could make a request to be roomed with more open/tolerant people. It depends on the collage and the location though, the one I'm going to be attending soon looks pretty nice and inclusive however it is kind of small. You start getting away from that when you get closer near the center of the state (Mountain towns, real rural places) however it's generally not that far from civilization. So In general I could say that you can be pretty open out here in NY, but like anywhere there are good and bad places. Overall though, I don't feel that bad over here; beats the living heck out of PA for the most part. I wouldn't worry about being an inconvenience since most schools here are pretty good about including LGBT students and sorting out issues, not telling them could actually present more issues if you get a roommate that ends up causing more issues down the road (Not that that wouldn't happen anyways, but it'll reduce the chances of it).
Thanks for the advice, The application didn't have an option, I think it had a filling the blank so I filled in my legal gender. The college is on Long Island. Yeah, thinking about that.. it would be good to avoid issues. I think that if I put that on my application I'll try to be out to the others students in the program as well as the adults/leaders. I guess I just need to take the leap. Sometimes the programs admit females because they're a minority in the sciences, so I'm worried that my mentor will think I lied to better my chances or something, if that makes sense?
If you are trans and they acknowledge and welcome trans people, I say choose trans. You are definitely not the only trans man in New York, and even though it's scary to make the leap of faith, getting treated correctly is so much better than quietly sticking to the closet.
