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I'm feeling like I may be transgender...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by team1901, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. team1901

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    I'm here because I am in desperate need of some clarity of who I am. I'm sure most, if not all, are much more experienced with this sort of thing, and could help me figure out who I am. I would love for anyone to reply and be interested in hearing my story and lending a helping hand. Please.
     
  2. nikom87

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    Please share your story here team1901. Although we may not have solid answers for you, helping hands and listening ears are available :slight_smile:
     
  3. team1901

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    Thank you very much nikom87 :slight_smile: well, I had some feelings when I was younger as maybe I was went to be a boy, but I brushed them off. Now, these feelings are much, much stronger. I've even starting wearing boy/boy-ish clothes and binding. Do you think I might actually b transgender? If this is not enough information, I will be happy to explain further :slight_smile:
     
  4. nikom87

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    Well one thing I know for certain is that no one else can tell you whether you are transgender or not. Only you can make that decision for yourself.

    Not everyone who binds and wears men's clothing is an FTM/trans guy. Some genderqueer people do, and some lesbian women do. However, if you say that in the past you wanted to be a boy, and now those feelings have returned, it is possible. If you feel like a boy, you're a boy.

    I don't know how old you are, but when you think of yourself in 5, 10, or 15 years down the line, do you see yourself living as a man or living as a woman?
     
  5. team1901

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    I've thought about this a lot, and I could see myself living as a male. I've considered maybe being genderqueer, but I'm not for certain. Something that has really made me think I am actually transgender is when I realized I started going to bed wishing to wake up a boy...

    ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2013 at 07:32 PM ----------

    btw, thank you so much for taking your time to help me :slight_smile: it means so much, nikom87 :slight_smile:
     
  6. suninthesky

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    I know this may seem like personal questions, so don't feel obligated to answer them here, but it's helped me figure things out:

    What do you think of your body?

    If/when people call you by "him" how does it make you feel? (If someone hasn't, try to imagine how you'd feel.)

    When you say "wish to be a boy" what exactly do you mean. By waking up in a male body, how would it change the way you feel about yourself and why?

    Maybe have a day where you dress fully as a guy and see if (others' opinions aside) it makes you more or less comfortable with yourself.


    Sometimes it takes a while to figure things out. Have patience with yourself, and we're here for you.
     
  7. team1901

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    Thank you for the reply, suninthesky :slight_smile: 1. I've never really comfortable or confident in my body. something has always felt wrong. 2. when someone has called me "him" before, I wasn't offended at all, and maybe a little happy at times..? 3. I have literally wished to wake up in a male body. and I think that something would just feel right finally, and I would be happy. 4. I did try that this summer, and I actually felt very happy :slight_smile: I'm just worried that this is a "phase." thank you so much for the support!! :slight_smile:
     
  8. wandering i

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    I decided to go from "questioning" to "transsexual" when the anxiety and dysphoria became so strong that I had trouble interacting with others and being seen in public (while "passing female" or trying to pass male). I was held back by frequently wondering if this is a phase for me for at least the last four years, though I didn't realize that until I went back and read old journal entries or came out to friends and they told me how i'd talked with them about these gender issues years in the past. I thought this only started last summer, but that was only when it became so hard on me that I was very depressed and isolated from all of my friends and family. Looking at my childhood and past with knowledge of what gender dysphoria is, it became clear to me that this has been a big issue for me since puberty.

    When did your feelings of dysphoria start? Do you feel good about living as a cool/tough masculine female, gender neutral, or androgynous?
    What I've come to understand is that you can be trans without ever needing to transition into living as your preferred sex. Transitioning meaning having surgery or hormone treatment, and aiming to be "stealth"- to pass flawlessly and live as your preferred sex. If you are distressed by your gender dysphoria and it inhibits your ability to live happily, you should consider going along with the idea that you are your preferred sex and see where it takes you. The end goal should be to feel comfortable and able to pursue your dreams instead of being held back by gender.

    There are not clear lines drawn between male and female. Gender is ambiguous, and you don't have to apply to stereotypes or societal expectations. If that means that eventually you want to change your body and your name, that's fine. It's also completely ok if you just want to experiment with fashion, behavior, and asking people to use different pronouns for you. Can you be who you want without being male? Do you think that women are inherently incapable of some things that men can do? (or visa versa) If so, I strongly suggest you think hard about what you see as male and female, and experiment with breaking those rules.
     
    #8 wandering i, Apr 11, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2013
  9. team1901

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    wandering_i, thank you for sharing your story with me, and taking the time to right this. After thinking back, I've realized these feelings have started during my childhood. I even told my friend this summer about these feelings, and now they're back. I think I could be continent dressing in other clothes, and seeing how that feels. thank you again so much for writing me this. I am for sure going to try dressing and acting differently to see how it feels. Today, my mom had me wear girly clothes, and I cried at school because I felt so uncomfortable.
     
  10. wandering i

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    (*hug*) You're not alone. Just take it slow and do what's comfortable for you. You'll find your way.
     
  11. team1901

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    thank you sooo much!! :slight_smile: