Hey well recently (for about a year or so) I've been feeling very uncomfortable in my body and I think I may be ftm. I hate being called 'miss' and being seen as a girl and I'm always male in my dreams and stuff. I've been doing a lot of reading online to see if others have felt the same way as I am now but they all seem to have the same sort of story about always having seen themselves as a guy and growing up with a constant feeling of not being comfortable in the body they've been given at birth, and playing with typical boy toys when they were younger. I don't seem to fit in with this sort of pattern as I played with both dolls and trucks when I was little and have never been particularly masculine and so I'm very confused as I feel like I'm male and being 'mistaken' for a guy makes me feel really amazing but I don't fit in with other stories I've heard. If anyone has any advice it would be very much appreciated as I'm feeling very frustrated and conflicted.
There's no pre-childhood qualifications for being trans. Not everyone grew up surrounded by guys' stuff or vocalized that they were a guy from when they were little. If you want to think of it one way, not all bio guys are hyper-masculine. Personally, I didn't fully understand why I always felt at dissonance with myself until I was around 17 and found out what being transgender meant. Sure, I played with legos, remote control trucks, climbed trees, and the like, but I also played with barbies and made jewelry. Not everyone knows/understands right away. I'd strongly advise against using patterns or stereotypes to gauge who you are. You know who you are already.
Do you have anything else you want to talk about concerning being transgender. Sometimes it helps just to get it all out there and talk it out, but don't feel pressured to.
I'm in the exact same situation as you are. it really just takes time to figure it all out. I'm always here for support or if you just want to talk!!
Thank you both for the support. I think I'm leaning towards a more male side of androgyny, sort of a feminine guy rather than a masculine girl. Does that even make sense?
Gender identity and gender roles are separate things. You can be cissexual and like to play games that are stereotypically aimed at the opposite gender. Or you can be trans and like typical activities of your natal sex. While trans kids are more likely to prefer games aimed at their gender identity than their natal gender, this is not always the case. What makes you trans is the feeling that, deep down, you are not the gender you were born as.
Im in the some boat, most likely ftm but unsure and confused. Im really, really new to this but im starting to realize theres no rule book for any of it. Theres no check list of qualities that make you trans. I for one was obsessed with wearing dressing from 1st to 3rd grade before becoming a total tomboy. I also know people that are mtf but very masculine and the other way around. You are you, lables are an aproximation used to inform others about yourself, dont let them box you in! As Ettina said, its the feeling deep down that your were born the wrong gender that makes you trans. Not your personality, your interests, or societies stereotypes. Just follow your intincts and your heart and you'll make it through this in one piece. And maybe ill follow my own advice for once and do the same
