I'm Really Confused could someone help?

Honestly, I feel similarly some times. Im mainly atracted to women but some guys, though I feel that the only way I could be really atracted to them was if I was a guy myself. When I was your age I was a totaly tomboy too, I only wore guys clothes simply because thats what I like to wear and what made me feel comfertable. If your worried about bullies at school I completely understand, I think most of us here can relate to that. My advise is to see if any of your friends, or even your mom from what you were saying, would be willing to help you out. You dont have to give them all the details if your worried they might reject it, just say that you think it would be fun to go into town, or somewhere the bully factor wont be such a big deal, and try "passing" as a guy and and see how it feels! Have fun, experiment with it and see what feels right. You dont have to jump to label yourself, or label yourself at all. You are you and thats the end of the story in my book. Plus, as many people on here have said, gender is a spectrum not a black and white, check either the male or female box type thing. Only you can choose how you want to identify and who you are inside. Also, maybe there is a LGBT group at your school you can go to, or maybe a friend who is dealing with similar things. I supose my end all advise after this ramble is to find somewhere you can feel safe and/or someone you can feel safe with and try to be yourself. For me it was the Gay Straight Alliance at my highschool and the drama club. But having a safe environment like that is crucial to figure out who you are.

 

Hey. I was in your position about five years ago. Welcome to EC.

What should you do?

That is something that, ultimately, only you can decide. But we can try to help you, and give you information. So you're unsure about whether you identify as a guy or not? Can you see the rest of your life as a man or woman? Which would make you happier? I can't make that choice for you, but I will mostly be talking about what to do if you decide you do identify as a guy, because if you decide you don't, there is significantly less to talk about in terms of gender.

If you come to the conclusion that you're a guy, then you're faced with a choice about whether to transition or not. While of course you're parent's support affect how early you can start transitioning, it is not their choice. You are your own person, it is your life, and no one can live life through your eyes. Its really great that you think your mother will be supportive, but try not to base your identity on what your parents will be prepared to accept.

If you decide to transition, this is what you can do: Change your name, your clothing, eventually your documents and things. Take hormone blockers to prevent (more) female puberty, and when you're older, take male hormones to induce male puberty. Possibly get surgery.

So how do you figure out your gender identity? Think about the questions I asked. Dress as a guy, get treated as a guy in the wider world, and see how you feel. Finding yourself can be difficult, but above anything else, it is a personal process, and while its fine to get information from others, don't let them tell you who to be. Whoever you want to be is fine, it may be that you want to live as female and crossdress occasionally, or it may be that you want to transition.

I'd be happy to give you some more info about transitioning, if you'd like to know more. Anyway, I feel for you. This questioning period is really difficult. (*hug*)

One of the things you might like to do is choose a male name for yourself, and just try it on. It doesn't matter whether you want to keep it, but it can be nice to have some idea of who you might be.

 

Glad to help If you ever want to talk, you can drop me a profile comment or a PM.

 

HI shadowchaser! i saw your thread a while ago when you were still questioning. Good on you for deciding to be ftm!

were the same age and im going through the same thing. KIT?

id like to talk more xx