OK, I'm not sure if this is the right place, because I'm not exactly needing 'support' about this. I just have some questions. So, firstly, cisgender means you don't mind identifying as the gender assigned to you at birth, and you don't object to your body's gendered characteristics (or object to them for reasons other than their gender, such as wanting more attractive versions of them). By that definition, there are two different kinds of people who could be cisgendered. I'll talk about cisgendered female to make it simpler, but the same could apply to guys just as well. One kind of cisgendered female is a woman who feels strongly that she's a woman. Being a woman is an important part of her identity. If you call her my male pronouns, she will be offended by this. If her body suddenly turned into a male body, she would experience gender dysphoria and would go to considerable effort to change it back. If she had been born with a male body and the same identity, she'd have been MtF. The other kind doesn't care as much. Female is something she's comfortable describing herself as, but she doesn't see it as a big part of her identity. If you used male pronouns for her, she would only be upset if she perceived a negative intent behind it. If her body turned into a male body, she may or may not be upset about it, but wouldn't care enough to go to a lot of effort to change it back. And if she had been born in a male body with the same identity, she'd be cisgendered male. I'm the second type. My questions are: Which is more common? Do most cisgender folks care about their gender? (I'm pretty sure my WGST prof expected us to care about our genders, given how she kept talking about 'performing gender' like it was something we all did.) If, as I suspect, the first type is more common, is there some term I could be using to clarify how I feel about my gender to others? Or should I just see myself as an atypical cisgender?
I feel the exact same way! I'm a cisgender girl but I don't mind at all when someone calls me "he" by mistake and I wouldn't feel weird in a boy's body. I feel perfectly comfortable as a girl, but I just wouldn't mind either way if my mind was in either body.
You might be interested in this post by blogger Ozy Frantz which argues that even the binary genders aren't monolithic entities and in fact incorporate a variety of shades of gender. What you describe also reminds me of the description for demigirl/-guy. Not necessarily. If the person feels they would be just as happy having been assigned a different gender at birth but still identifies as a given gender, even if it's just a matter of what they're accustomed to, calling them agender doesn't seem quite fair, if for no other reason than because they may or may not see themselves that way. As for me personally...I can somewhat relate to this, though I'm still working out my feelings about the matter. Hence the tentative identification as genderqueer.
You're right. I was seeing the whole thing from my perspective. :/ And yes, I do think demigirl-guy sounds more fitting for that occasion, too.
To add another wrinkle to my gender identity... I feel a lot more strongly about wanting a feminine body than a female one. What I mean is, I can imagine feeling comfortable as a feminine-looking woman (ie slim, not muscular, curves) or as a bishounen guy (an anime ideal for men that is slender and feminine-looking). But being a butch woman or a masculine man would feel uncomfortable to me. (Incidentally, I'm talking purely physical appearance here, not behavior or way of presenting appearance. I never use makeup or shave my legs or armpits, and wear fairly gender-neutral clothing. My behavior is atypical for both genders, though I guess I'd be closest to the stereotype of 'geek' which is more of a male role.)
i personally think it's more common than society in general thinks, but i can't really say how common it is. on AVEN (the Asexual Visibility & Education Network) forum there has been some talk about something very similar (if not the same) as what you've described and people have been using the term "cis-apathetic" to describe it. maybe this thread would interest you: How Attached Are You To Your Gender - AVEN Forum
I'm the first type. I like being female and I wouldn't want to be male. I'll give you an example: I'm madly in love with a straight woman. If I was a man, then I might be able to go out with her etc. I like being a woman and a lesbian though, so even though I could have the woman I am head over heals for,I wouldn't want to be a man.
I'm going to make a wild guess and say I think most cisgender people feel pretty strongly about their gender and that it's important to them. That said, I think many may not have really thought about it - it just is. I hear people say things like, "that shampoo smells nice but it's kinda girly, so I'll choose this one instead". Or, "Let's have just our girl time and go get a coffee!" Things like that. So that's why I'm guessing it's more important to people than they may even realize. Just a thought.
I greatly enjoy the perks of being male and comfortably identify as such. If I were to magically change into a woman, I'd enjoy messing around with my new body, trying women's clothes, etc. but it would be a novelty. At the end of the day, I think I'm mostly type 1-- guy is the only way to go for me.
While I can't speak on behalf of cis people, from most people I've conversed with, it seems that the latter description is more common. I don't think this really represents a differentiation in one's gender identity, but just rather a personality divergence.
While I cannot speak for a lot of cis-people, I kind of identify as male only because I have a penis and the concept of feeling like the opposite sex kind of doesn't make sense at all. I gotta say this honestly, I don't really believe that the idea of gender makes sense at all. If I try to picture myself as a female, all I'm trying to stimulate having female body parts, but I wouldn't know how it feels. From studies, all I can conclude is that transgenderism in many case deals with dissatisfaction of having the body of their birth sex. I'm not gonna say that there is differences between male and female asides from physical aspects because it's still controversial and unresolved.
I feel like the type 2 I think. It's like I feel like I'm comfortable as a guy because of my personality.
