I've never done this before, but please help...

Excellent analysis!

If you are bisexual you are sure that you are sexually interested in the opposite sex.

Sex-wise you are already more mature than your grandmother and stepfather! Posting in the more popular Coming Out section of this website will help yo to deal with them more or less successfully.

The question is what you are NOW, or more precisely, what you WANT TO DO NOW. :icon_wink

That's a very clear statement! If you need a label, choose GAY or LESBIAN for the time being.

Don't be afraid of neglecting the men, they won't disappear.

There is no problem calling yourself BISEXUAL now because you are not yet 100 percent sure that you will never enjoy sex with men, or more importantly, because the transition to that label is easier for you or for your family. Bisexuals don't mind that, but gays and lesbians don't appreciate it if other gays and lesbians hide behind the bisexual label.

How do you label your culinary self-identity? Can you do that with a single word? Is it always the same? You should think in the same way about your sexual identity. If you are courageous you try something new every now and again and than you evaluate your experience and update your culinary or sexual identity. In case you like identities.

Perfect synchronization, you are really lucky. Have a good time! :icon_wink

 

Honestly, I feel the exact same way about guys and girls that you do. I'm not really romantically interested in guys, but if one asked me out I'd give them a chance. Then, when it comes to girls my feelings are all over the place. I call myself a pansexual who leans towards females. You would probably be a bisexual who leans towards women. It's easiest just to say bisexual though, and specify when need be. Hope this helped! :smilewave

 

I know what you mean Autumn. I feel the same way.
Here's my story, I have always liked girls, or admired them to an extent that I found as I grew older, 'normal people' are not supposed to. My parents, when I was little, were horrifying... They were in this cult-like group of yahoo Christians. I was raised to think being gay, being attracted to the same sex was terribly, terribly wrong. They made it sound like you would instantly catch on fire if you went anywhere near a person of the same sex. It was astounding that so many ignorant people could coincide in the same room... Anyway, that's not my point, my point is, it was pounded into my head, even as a little tyke that I was not, under any circumstance supposed to like girls more than just as my buddy.
My problem growing up was that I trusted people too much, especially girls... My childhood best friend, a girl, molested me, and forever made me turn away from close interaction with girls, I could barely sleep in the same room with them... When we got into about 7th grade, that same girl told everyone I was a lesbian, and that I liked to touch girls. So, in a school, where every child is horribly conservative, in a town where every person is horribly conservative, my entire graduating of about 80 students (this is a very small town, mind you) turned on me all at once. Both guys and girls both physically and verbally beat me to nothing. Teachers saw the bruises, and the cuts... Even saw the kids doing these things... But didn't care. I was just the fat lesbian kid. So again, after hearing, "I'll beat the gay right out of you" and "move your fat ass you stupid lesbian whore" from a bunch of 12-13 year old assholes, I was just beaten even more in to thinking it was way wrong. (I had family issues on top of this, parents were neglecting my brother and I, and I was taking care of him and my dogs to an extent that no 13 year old should have to.)
But it didn't stop. I still liked girls more than guys, or more often than guys.. In fact, I didn't even really have a crush on any guys. I did have one very close friend that didn't go to my school though, named Mason... Same family situation, but with rumors flying around that he was gay. I felt romantically close to him, and there were many nights from the time I was ten, until I was seventeen that I spent with him, in his house or mine, that I just felt so in love with him, and the idea of us actually being together. We never did, though.
I still struggled to keep myself from liking girls, and staring at them. I played the 'I hate girls' facade for a long time. I only had one girl buddy throughout high school, and she was one of my childhood friends too. Her and I kept a distance from each other. I told her why I didn't trust girls to be close to me, and she respected that.
In high school, I ALWAYS had a boyfriend. I was like a cat chasing a laser pointer. I wanted so badly to be 'normal' that any degree of attraction to ANYTHING about this boy or that boy; I'd jump straight on it- and it would just disappear.
Soon, guys became the 'safe sex' for me. As they are very easy to control, and easy to maintain a relationship with. Up until my first abusive boyfriend, and I finally realized they aren't any safer than anyone else.

In my senior year of high school, I found the first man I was sexually attracted to. At least for a time, He was my best friend.(FRIENDZONEDDDD) I eventually sucked him in, and he just fell for me. I really fell for him too. He was a wonderful human being. But something was still missing. I think for both of us...
FINALLY here's what I was getting to tell you- I told my best guy friend(one of the many ex boyfriends) that I thought I might be gay- just this year. Entirely gay. Because I lacked real, and sustainable sexual and mental attraction to men. He just told me he thought I was making an excuse not to have sex with him. Not to be with him. But I just trusted him. So it hurt to be shut away like that, when it was actually an issue, and I realized it was something that was going on my whole life, and I was finally ready to try and accept it, or explore it. Turned out, he wasn't the friend to rely on...
Finally. I eventually got here. I have a wonderful, supportive boyfriend, he is my absolute best friend, and I love him to death. Though, I am not always sexually attracted to him, most of the time, our minds just click so well. He is one of the three males in my entire life that I thought I could truly have a serious relationship with. Most of the time, like I said, I'm just a cat chasing a laser. It gets shut off right when I catch it... And then there is nothing. But with Jace, it's still good for now. Still... There's this. There's something missing. So I told him my secret... I told him everything I've never told anyone, about my experiences at in middle school, and how I think I might be bisexual, almost entirely gay. He was only slightly shocked, as he caught me looking at girls before, and he knew that I was turned on by girls in general, and he decided to continue to support me. We have decided to stay together for the time being, he understands that he is sort of on the losing side... But I think he is honored to be one of the only guys I've ever really crushed hard on, or fell for. If I feel I need to venture down that road, and find out just how gay I am, he will remain just my best friend, and support me through that journey.

Now here's the main thing I wanted to say to you: I just told my mom last night. I don't really like her, or get along with her... But he was the least judgmental. If you feel like you need to tell someone close to you... Pick the least judgmental person in your close circle, and talk with them. Their reaction may really shock you!
Take your time. I am still shocked that I was finally able to really talk about it... I'll find out in time... But for now, I am just ready to talk about it.
I really hope things work out for you. I know how it is to have virtually no one to tell- no one close to you. You, just like me, have held your confusion in for nineteen years. (almost twenty for me)
I just hope it gets clearer for both of us!