Keep second guessing myself?

You're probably just afraid of how other people will react, and because of that, you have doubts. If you've felt this way for a long time, then chances are this is how you're meant to be and will be. Since you were only second guessing yourself after telling someone, you're just worried that you would go through the trouble of telling people with the possibility that you think you might change in the years to come.

 

Don't tell your parents until you're sure. This is not only because coming out as trans is always difficult, and if its unnecessary, then its really better not to do it, but because having people in your life who have reservations (and parents always have reservations, even if they turn out to be supportive), they'll cause you to start doubting yourself. This is a decision you must make on your own, because no one else has ever been you. The answer is in you, even if you're having trouble accepting it.

I don't think you should wait longer than you have to, though. Assuming you conclude that you are a girl, telling your parents can give you access to all sorts of medical treatments that will improve the quality of your life, such as hormone blockers. But yes, I'd advise you to reach a point where you can reinforce your identity against your parents' initial denial before you tell them anything.

Good luck, and we're here if you need to talk.

 

I would say go with your first thought. Usuailly the second is just fear. F false E evedence A appearing R real. When you look at what fear is you can look beyond it. I agree you want to nip this in the but. I sure wish when I was young had known about trans people and been able to fix my body. I am 40 and it is too late in this life. I don't worry about what can't be fixed and just enjoy life! You know yourself better than anyone! Go with your gut feeling and you won't go wrong. Good luck, June

 

I think you are making the right decision. I've been on hormones replacement therapy for over eight months. I still doubt myself constantly, yet I still cringe every time I get called sir and take the hormones every day and night. I worry a lot. Its normal, and its a big decision. Be it over anything, its normal to doubt yourself after coming out to people. You just made a big commitment and you want to make sure you aren't going to regret it.

You seem very sure of yourself. I wish I had taken the steps you are taking at your age.

 

If I'm being honest with myself, even though I always presented as if I was completely certain about my gender identity, I doubted myself for a month or two during my gender therapy. I kept thinking, "But what if I'm not trans and I'm just really, really feminine?" In the end, I realized that I was afraid of things changing so drastically in my life. I was afraid I wouldn't pass as a woman. I was afraid of a lot of things. Letting go of that fear set me free.

 

You're probably worried about what people might think, so you want to deny so you don't have to tell them. Only tell people if you're comfortable telling them.

 

As others are saying, it's perfectly normal to doubt yourself in this process. Coming out is an enormous commitment, and given that dysphoria can periodically strengthen, then weaken, it's one we all want to make sure we get right. I've heard it said that the doubt can be attributed to how foreign it feels to actually say the words aloud. As intimidating as it is to mull this all over, the time will come when you have a good grasp on this and confidently know what you want to do. Good luck!

 

Everyone, and I mean everyone transgender and under the trans* umbrella has felt doubt or expressed uncertainty. I will bet you that you'll never run into a transperson who will say that they never doubted themselves or wondered if they over-thought.

I admitted being a boy to my mother when I was 11, but shut my feelings in once I started middle school and had to deal with the cruel societal hierarchy and bullying problems. It was only until last year I felt that I needed to open that door again, but I hesitated. I hesitated for months. If I could've gone back in time, I would've told myself to come out earlier so I'd be on hormones by this point and get my life in track.

You're incredibly mature and seem to know yourself well for someone 14, and I wish you the best of luck when you come out to your parents.

 

Good luck!

 

Indeed, best of luck! (And congrats)

 

I was thinking about this the other day, pondering over the whole notion of gender. Even if we, you, or I were never able to "pass" as the gender we identify with then it would still be okay. Because, in the end it's more important to be ourselves.. and to not be miserable with who we are and the bodies we're in. At the end of the day, no one can take away our pride and dignity.

 

Congratulations! That's so great.

:thewave:

 

Congratulations! Parental support will really help you with any changes you might want to make to your lifestyle, and it always feels so good to have someone there you can talk to =)

 

Yay!!! That's great that they were supportive!(&&&)(&&&)(&&&)(&&&)(&&&)(&&&):thewave::thewave::thewave::thewave: