Rant On Discrimination

It's because they don't understand. This is really nerdy, but to quote Kingdom Hearts "One who knows nothing can understand nothing". They're confused, they don't understand us, they're afraid and this leads them to think things about us that aren't true. It's really sad because of these factors, then it's difficult to change the minds of the status quo. They already think they know who we are, what we are and what we want out of life. They're ignorant and know nothing of what it means to be trans. It's tough, but we need to keep on fighting. Fighting for that sad young transperson in 2063 who needs us to fight the good fight now. Martin Luther King was around in the 60s. That's 50 years ago. In another 50, we might even be respected by a significant portion of society. Hope you're doing okay and stay strong.

 

I hadn't heard about the murder. That's terrible .

From my point of view, I've experienced a fair amount of discrimination, particularly before I passed. Now, I have to spend money and time trying to hide my past so I can get a job, and I know if I were ever to tell anyone about me, I'd be treated differently, and I'd be at serious risk of hate crime. But I'm aware it could be much worse, I pass, and I can hide my past, many people don't have that option.

 

One thing coming out trans* does, is it gives you a good idea of what exactly normal is. You think you understand people before you've come out, what they want out of life, what makes them tick. Then you start to let the things you know come out into the open, and you discover what normal really is.

My point of reference is being a transitioner who is oriented toward women. So from this point of view, these are the clues I got as far as what normal is. Please don't read any further if you're having a bad day or are feeling dysphoric; this is probably nothing you haven't heard a million times before.

* Why would you want to change your sex if you like women?
* So you're basically a straight male with a fetish
* Are you sure you aren't bi or gay? 'Cause you sure do look and act that way.
* Oh quit that you know what I meant by gay. I meant do you like guys. You aren't a girl.
* You so aren't a girl. You lift weights when you exercise and you have eaten things the sun would spit out. And I mean you helped fix my car.

So I have a pretty good idea of what normal is. To normal people, you should make yourself attractive to the opposite sex, period. You should act masculine if you are a boy and feminine if you are a girl, unless you have a same sex attraction, in which case you should switch it UNLESS you're at a job or a formal occasion. Physical sex isn't something you can "really" change. If you talk about people born with XY chromosomes that have natural female genitalia, you are talking about people with intersex conditions. And to normal people, your brain doesn't count as an organ that can be intersexed. Of course, normal people are always free to express who they are behind closed doors if they don't fit in that mold with the blinds closed as long as they and their partners keep everything secret.

We have come a long way of course. Same sex attraction never used to be something that normal people had or acted on at all ever. But even there, people can still work against the most important of all normal people beliefs.

That belief is simple. Life is a game. And if you can pull off acting and looking masculine as a cis male, or feminine as a cis female, and you attract an opposite gendered partner, and at least one of you has a good job, you win. The closer you come to that, the higher your score is.

And if you have a high score, and take steps away from normal intentionally, there is simply something wrong with you. You're confused. You aren't making rational decisions.

So what I realized, is that I don't understand normal people at all, and they don't understand me at all. When someone called me a girl as a child, they made it clear that it was a bad thing. That being a girl was a bad thing. That the worst thing you could be, was me.

Some of the other kids tried to fix it. I know I'm not the only trans person out there that got in a lot of fights as a kid. And I got other kinds of fixing at home. What's crazy is, now that I'm a grown up and I've made the simple decision to stop acting and to wear my heart on my sleeve from now on - other people like to use the word "transition" to describe that decision - normal people still want to fix people like me. Normal people with jobs and responsibilities, that you would think are rational and have their own lives and dreams to worry about. But no.

When I was a child, I'd fight back directly. I hated myself for it when I won, and of course it hurt when I lost. I grew up hating violence the more and more I experienced it, and today I'm not sure I'm capable of it. It's another one of those things that normal people do that never made any sense. It's a lot harder finding other ways to set boundaries and fight back now, ways that don't hurt anyone and don't let me get hurt, especially since it's people I love that I'm fighting with.

But I know it's worth it. Every day I see a little more of the person I am inside shining through, and every day it gets a little easier to realize just how full of it normal people are.

 

That's horrible.... unfortunately, it doesn't surprise me. Even our own police force and government are transphobic fucks.

Discrimination and oppressive behaviour is a huge part of why I ponder suicide at any given moment. There's not one day where I don't think about suicide.

I wish it weren't like this at all because regardless of our gender, we're people too and we are entitled to the same rights as everyone else. I'm a man, I just happen to be transgender. People seem to have extremely low tolerance for my medical problems, for some reason, and I don't understand the hatred that comes with it. I'm automatically a lower-class citizen because I'm trans.

When I think about the oppression, it makes me want to cop-out and live as cis-gender so I won't have to deal with discrimination. But I'll hate myself if I do that, always being stuck in the wrong body. I hate society.

 

Its not right and DEFINITELY isn't fair.

 

What really bothers me is the way 'normal' people respond to these kind of stories.

I was making a point about self defense recently and brought up a trans woman who was defending herself from some guys in a bar and was sent to jail for stabbing one, and the guy I was talking to said that he couldn't believe me because 'the only articles about it are from people who are obviously on her side.' :dry: I pointed out that that's because those are the only people who cover stories about trans people, but there's always that assumption that the provocation is our fault.

Or even stories about trans people that don't involve violence.

I read another story about a girl whose parents were fighting her school over that same old bathroom issue, and not only was almost every single comment extremely hateful and inaccurate, but CNN later published them as if they were valid opinions.

 

Ugh people are just so cruel.

Personally I don't have any other stories or experiences to share, probably because I'm not out to the world. Even though I still dress as male no matter where I am; but society probably just sees me as a lesbian...which of course is better and more acceptable than being a transman.

All of this reminds me of the movie "Boys Don't Cry" and the documentary on Brandon Teena. It's just awful the way "normal" people act.
I hope this wont be an issue for future generations, if it doesn't happen during our time.

 

I agree with your rant 100%! It just sucks since "normal people" will never fully understand what it's like to be one of them and to live their life. I'm sure if they could, then violence towards them would stop....sigh...

 

When will the police learn? Even if you're heartless and don't care about the victim, letting a murderer go free puts others in danger.

This reminds me of the serial killer that PETA found before the police did - he'd been torturing and killing animals before he moved on to people.

Also reminds me of Pickton - he killed almost 60 women before he was finally caught, and they could have caught him when he'd just barely started out (one of his would-be victims escaped and went to the police), but because his victims were hookers the police didn't take it seriously. It was a rookie cop who caught him, not realizing there was a conspiracy of silence about it.

 

All this messed up :***: that goes on floods me with the urge to lock myself in the bathroom, crying, screaming with hatred for this godforsaken place and never coming out. I don't see how it'll ever get better and I'm sorry for being negative but it's just how I feel right now. However, I know who I am now, or at least I have a pretty good idea. I will not be forced into being a person that I'm clearly not by some ignorant :***:. But, will it ever really get better for us? How can no one care? It feels inhuman that no one does anything.
I've lost all faith in humanity. I feel burying my head in the sand and praying I die of natural causes.:icon_sad: