.....mm, i've got a rather odd case here. I've never experienced any disgust with my own genitals, and I've always felt comfortable in my own body....... however, I also want to be a male? I can't tell if I'm a crossdresser or if this is just a phase I'm going through (i'm 14), but.... Like, I kinda want to be a male, but I also don't really care about the fact that I am a female, either? As a kid I was very tomboyish (i loved pokemon, bob the builder, and all that....), but I really didn't mind skirts or anything at all.... now whenever I wear skirts it's uncomfortable?? I've been tempted to create another account on a website I commonly go on, and pretend to be male there? The thought of someone thinking of me as a male makes me happy, in a way.... I can pull off a pretty convincing male voice, too, which also makes me feel the same feeling. I always feel jealous whenever I hear that my friends have bought clothes from the male section at a store (they fit them well, and I'm too shy to go to the male section myself and look - i'm tempted to ask my mum just to let me shop on my own whilst she go gets a coffee, but idk if she'd let me or not) and just hdfjhiucdkfnjhhdjk I'm just really confused here.... is this just a phase I'm going through? Am I a crossdresser? Have I somehow been brainwashed into thinking that being male is cooler than being female somehow?? Help!!!
If you're comfortable in your own body I don't think you'd be a transman; but I do believe that you fall somewhere under the transgender umbrella. So it's very possible that you can be a crossdresser, perhaps even androgynous, or genderfluid/genderqueer. At times do you feel okay with being called a girl? Or do you strictly just want to be seen as male? Also, I doubt you brainwashed yourself. :lol: If it happened naturally then that's just who you are.
Ahh, I see...! Thank you for the reply!! Hmm........ Most of the time I'm okay with being referred to as female, although i would like to be referred to as a male? It mainly just depends on what I feel like on that particular day.... if that even makes any sense. orz
Some girls like to wear boy clothes. I don't even like the phrase boy clothea but toy know what I mean. You aound adrogenous or just like a tom boy.. Just dress however you like and don't stress it
You don't neccesarily have to hate your body to be trans*, by the way. I'll use myself as an example- I never hated my gentalia or breasts. I wasn't especially fond of having them (And for years I thought it was internalized misogyny or some shit because I decided I'd much rather have a penis.) In fact, I actually remember wanting larger breasts and a period because they'd make me a "real woman", which was what everyone wanted me to be. But when I got them- I remember how disgusted I was when I actually saw breasts poking out under my shirt for the first time, to the degree that I'd sleep with a bra on just to avoid seeing them when I woke up. Never mind when I first got my period. :/ Your gender expression is all up to you and I think you'll find that your past doesn't matter as much as everyone thinks it does. You need to ask yourself, are you happy being a woman? Do you feel like a man or would you rather be one? Educate yourself. Read blogs (look up Natalie Reed and Matt Kailey's Tranifesto), talk to people. Think about it, figure yourself out. You might be a woman with a masculine side or you might be a man, or even neither- there's no wrong answer, it's what you decide for you. I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite Natalie Reed quotes for you to stew over and consider: When we start looking for approval of our feelings, and assurances that they’re real and that they count, beyond the subjective certainty and realness of experiencing those feelings, we’re lost. Well and truly lost, looking for a path we simply can’t find. And when you’ve made doing what you need to do in order to be happy conditional on that approval and assurance, we’ve resigned ourselves to unhappiness. A self, an identity, a gender… these aren’t really fixed, concrete facts in the world. These are means. Processes by which we understand ourselves and our relationship to things, and articulate and express them. You’re never going to get any certainty beyond the certainty you yourself assert, or any assurance beyond the sense of I am. This is who I am. This is what I am experiencing. This is what I want. This is what I need to do." - Natalie Reed
Only you can really come to the answer yourself. I think you might need to experiment, try creating that male online account, and if you can, try wearing boy clothes. I think if you feel being perceived as a boy would make you happy, then try it.
