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Lost and need help finding out about myself

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Silverbird, May 21, 2013.

  1. Silverbird

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    Hey, to start I am genetically female but ever since I was young I never thought much about what that means. Being a child a the time I kind of just didn't think to question anything. My mental voice was never female and in my dreams I'd be a boy. I liked boy things and all through childhood I never questioned it. Now I am 17 and obviously at my age now I am no longer able to just "roll with it" so to speak. My mother always on me about prom dresses and such is just one of the many things that have led me to question myself. I have begun to wonder...am I transgender ? I like girl things sometimes and ill have a few months were I don't feel masculine at all but then it always comes back to were I've begun to hate my body and wonder why It's like I'm looking at a stranger in the mirror. With my hormones always changing I don't want to right out say "hey I'm trans" because I don't want real trans. People to think I'm making fun of them if by some chance I'm wrong about myself.... I am really lost I sometimes feel like I'm two people in one body that are arguing over me. If you could offer an insight on this it would be greatly appreciated.:icon_sad:
     
  2. wanderinggirl

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  3. DelFelidae

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    I know exactly what you mean. I'm 17 too, I've been experimenting with my gender since I was like 15 and I've always felt like my body and gender has been a massive constriction. Sometimes I feel like I'm completely disconnected from my body and horrified by the person I see in the mirror too. Just take things in your own time, everyone has their own stride, just because you like "Guy" things doesn't necessarily mean you're trans* yet liking "Girl" things doesn't necessarily mean you're Cis either. It is really tough, and the doubt makes everything a lot worse. You might be gender fluid or gender queer etc. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say now...It's ok to have doubt and feel unsure, don't pressure yourself for an answer immediately, maybe if you can just try reflecting on how you feel about your gender E.g female/male pronouns or even experiment with boy clothes(If you can safely). Remember there are always others how are having the same questions and doubts as you.(Me for one)
     
  4. Silverbird

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    Well I will try to experiment a little. I just really want to know who I am and feel home in myself.