So I kind of outed myself today. My 21-year-old sister asked me today what I was up to, and I told her I was reading stuff on a forum. Instead of just going on to talk about her life, which she usually does, she asked me what kind of forum it was. I couldn't even lie. I just came out and told her it was an LGBT forum. Then she asked me what I was doing on an LGBT forum, so I told her. *big deep breath* I'm an androgyne, and I think I might want to be a guy. She wasn't surprised at all, which is kind of weird to me. She's really conservative, but she was surprisingly kind of possibly a little bit maybe OK with it. And by that I mean she didn't freak out on me. She didn't really seem upset. But then I told her I was tired of being recognized as a girl, and she said exactly what I expected from her: "But you ARE a girl." Just :***:ing great.... Well, to her credit, I'm not sure she was ready to hear that even though she already kind of knew, and I guess I am still biologically female.... Oh, God....:bang: I feel like such an asshole for this. I'm really hoping she doesn't go and tell the rest of the family. I know I don't have the time or the energy to worry about :***: like this, but my family loves to talk. I guess if they found out, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but I'd just rather they find out from me, if at all. My family probably kind of knows, too, but I guess if they know in the back of their minds, it's not real to them. Maybe it's better that way. If I can still pretend around them during the holidays and avoid rocking the figurative boat, it's probably for the best. They don't really need to know if I don't make any radical change, right? Maybe I'm just a coward. I'm not sure...
ur not a coward, ur probs just afraid of what ur family will think. ur still gonna have to come out to them eventually though to make things easier for when you do come out, start by wearing guys clothes and sort of ease into it, they should get it eventually. so they will either ask u or wait for u to come out urself then u should bring up surgery, if u actually want that best of luck
Thanks. I am really afraid of what my family will think. I have been asked questions by my family suggesting that they've been suspicious of me being trans or whatever for a while, but I guess I'm just not ready for the onslaught of questions that will come with coming out. My family is really conservative, so there's a lot of pressure there. The older generations of my husband's family are, too. There's just a lot of pressure that comes with this, and I almost just want to get used to it and figure myself out before saying anything so that way I'll be stable and secure in myself in case they start getting all preachy on my ass. I think the easiest people to talk to about this would be my sister (Well, OK, maybe not my sister) and my mother-in-law. But then again, I could be surprised. I have no idea. This is scary.... Thank you for your advice and your kind words. :icon_bigg
It's okay to be scared to come out to family. I was when I did. Just tell them when you're ready. When I told my parents about my gender identity, I guess it really didn't matter what they thought. After all, they can't really understand the feelings about our gender that we transgenders and genderqueers feel. But the main point is that I saw coming out to them as a way of saying "Heads up, I might have surgery. So if a woman that looks like me comes to a family reunion a couple years from now, let her come in; it's me." The reason I saw it that way is because it is so difficult to explain these gender identity feelings to people who don't feel them. But you know who you are, and that's really what's important. And this kind of news is shocking, so it does help to ease into it, like freedom200 said. I wish you good luck.
