1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Fantasy Confusion

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Keegan24, May 25, 2013.

  1. Keegan24

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2013
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Perth in Sunny Australia
    Ok heres the story, Im a gay teenager (I'm in the closet) and I'm head over heels for a "straight" guy who we can call Dan.
    Don't worry folks this isn't your usual "In love with a staight guy" thread. It's actually about gender identity :icon_eek:.

    No in all seriousness I need some help, usually when I fall for a straight guy I imagine them as gay or curious when I fantasise about them (either in masterbation or when i'm day dreaming)
    So I went allong like that, falling in and out of crushes until I crushed on Dan.
    Normally my crushes last a month at most cos then the logical side of my brain kills the romance for me by telling me their straight and I have no future with them, this works for me and I get over them pretty quikly without any tears.

    But heres my problem, Ive been crushing on Dan for nealy 5 months now, I'm 99.99% sure he's straight and Ive accepted that but instead of cooling off, my love for him has intensified.
    Im not sure why but it could be linked to a change in how I fantisise about him.
    When i'm masterbating or day dreaming about him I'm a girl now this unerves me because Ive never had this problem of gender Identity before. Ive accepted that Im a guy who likes guys and usually that what my fantasies revole around but now when I think of him i'm a girl and that confuses me :confused2:

    When im in the moment it all seems right and its only afterwards that I feel that something was wrong with that fantasy, so I guess I'm asking is it normal when your so emotionally invested in someone for your fantasies to defy reality or do I have a gender identity problem??? :help:

    Hugs and Kisses to all helpers no matter what you have to say :kiss:
     
  2. Theodora

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Not as far away as I'd hoped.
    Fantasies don't necessarily mean anything... if the only time you're picturing yourself as a girl is when you're thinking about him and you don't really feel out of place with your gender in your regular life you probably don't have a major gender identity issue. It's also possible that you do, but if you do, you'll probably notice the desire to be a girl getting stronger in other aspects of your life now that you're aware of it.

    When you say you feel like "something was wrong" with your fantasy afterward, do you mean you feel ashamed? There's nothing wrong with fantasizing, no matter who you identify as. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Keegan24

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2013
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Perth in Sunny Australia
    Thanks Theodora, It's really just when I think of him. I dont really know why I felt something was wrong it was just a different eperience i guess :slight_smile: