I am a 15 year old biological female. I've always loved to be called a "him" and it makes me happy to dress and act like a man, and I've always wanted my hair cut like a guy's, but my parents wouldn't do it. I'm not desperately trying to get out of my body, but I feel uncomfortable with it. I am sexually attracted to females, and fantasize about having the role of a male in sex and a relationship. I am very confused on whether I am or am not a transsexual, but I've thought long and hard about being a man and realize i dont feel "trapped inside the wrong body" but I want to be a transman. I know that in order to transition, you must have a diagnosis from a psycologist. I want to transition as soon as possible, but I'm not sure if im actually transsexual or if im simply a masculine lesbian. It scares me to think of going to a psycologist and it being dismissed or denied. I haven't told my parents about my desire to transition just yet. If anyone could help confirm or deny my worries I would be so grateful.
You don't have to feel as if you're "trapped in the wrong body" in order to qualify. I mean, I never did. Gender dysphoria varies between people- for some it's strong enough to the degree where people can't even shower with the lights on or the fact they have the wrong gentilia causes panic attacks. Others might feel it to a lesser degree or not at all. I myself actually viewed my body with more of an apathy. It was what I was stuck with, might as well get used to it. In fact, for years I actually blamed my inability to enjoy my body as internalized misogyny. From the looks of it, you honestly strike me as someone who wishes to identify as a man. And why not let yourself be a man for once? I mean, you'll need a gender therapist if you wish to transition but if you honestly can't see yourself as a woman- don't. There's no right or wrong way to be trans* and no right or wrong way to transition.
If you identify as male, then you are a male. If you're tired of being treated like a female, and love being treated like a guy, then I'd say you're a transman. Now I know I replied to your other post saying, that I wasn't sure if you were a transman or not because you didn't feel trapped...but I think that was my tired brain talking..( been kind of out of it all day ^^; ). Every trans person experiences dysphoria differently, and if you can't wait to go and transition then I'd say you are a transman.
That says everything to me. There isn't a list of things you must be or do for you to qualify as a trans man, rather than a masculine woman. Its just how you feel. I should mention though, that the diagnosis is a means to an end. If you're scared of being rejected for not feeling dysphoria, tell the therapist you do feel it.
I'll admit to not having experience here, but this strikes me as the worst possible advice. Of all people to lie to, a THERAPIST? They're there to help you through this difficult time in your life (and don't let anyone tell you you're not having a hard time, it's very clear from your post that you are) As has been said in this thread, everyone experiences dysphoria differently. Just because you don't "feel trapped in the wrong body" doesn't mean there's no dysphoria. You say that you can't wait to transition - that sounds pretty dysphoric to me. I don't think you'll get rejected by a good therapist. Just my $0.02
It's just the thing with many therapists is that many have little experience when it comes to dealing with trans* patients, and as such look for only "textbook" traits, so to speak, when it comes to diagnosing a patient as "trans* enough". I mean, do correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not going by personal experience, just by what I hear through the grapevine. Now a good gender therapist, by theory, should understand that dysphoria isn't experienced the same and might not be experienced if at all by someone who's trans*, but it's not always the case.
I think if you're scared of being denied the ability to transition and are fearful that someone will tell you you're not trans*...Then I'd take that as indication that you are certainly in fact trans*.... I've felt the same way, I've been terrified someone will accuse me of not being trans*, when I know deep down I am trans.*
Well I respect your opinion, but I disagree. The therapist providing the referral, usually speaking, is not trying to help you through a difficult time. They are trying to provide you with a referral. If you feel like you need therapy, then thats a different matter, but in my experience, the so-called gatekeeper therapists, the ones that give you access to actual treatment, are not the ones giving support, and its much, much easier to just feed them what they expect to hear from a transperson, and then get on with transitioning. I'll give you my experience with therapy: I had a couple of private 'support' sessions paid for by my parents. Utterly useless, though I'm not saying they would be for everyone. But though I was certainly having a hard time, it wasn't going to be fixed by talking about it. It was going to be fixed by transitioning and hormone therapy. Which it has been. Independent of the therapist giving me the 'support', I was given a state-funded referral to a therapist. I had precisely one hour in which to convince him that I was a) trans b) not crazy and c) willing and able to transition. If I passed, I would be referred to someone who could give me hormones. If I failed, I'd either be stuck in therapy while I struggled to pretend I was in the process of resolving my issues so I could be referred on, or barred from receiving medical treatment for transition. As it was, I passed. I never actually used the state funded service, because it was stupid, but that is besides the point. This is my experience also. In addition to what I wrote above.
