Well I have accepted I am gay, but then I find myself mostly attracted to older guys. I would like to know if there is a term for folks like me. Thanks in advance for your time.
There's no name for it I think, but there was another member who was gay and attracted to older men, I can't remember his name, but he's around.
There's a significant subset of the gay male community that is attracted to older men, although the details can vary from person to person. I say 'gay male community' because I don't know if there is a similar subset within the lesbian or trans parts of the community, so sticking to what I have some experience with. Some guys are only attracted to older men, some guys are attracted to lots of ages, including older men, and within those groups, there are differences in how much older a guy can be and still be attractive to the person in question. As others have said, there isn't really a specific term for the attraction itself. Todd
I guess so, a bit weird to me at first, but getting used to the idea of ending up with an older man since I am 90% of the time attracted to them
At the risk of raining on people's parades, older/younger relationships are often (though not always) fraught with major problems and dysfunction, and are rarely healthy, particularly when the younger person is under 25 or so. Very often, the younger person is confusing a desire to be taken care of (an inherent trait of codependency, which itself is very unhealthy) with genuine romantic attraction/interest. And additional problems come up due to power imbalances that are almost always inherent in these relationships; money, life experience, stability are all things that, typically, come as one gets older. The majority of young people that find themselves attracted to older guys can, with help, understand what's going on and find that, if they work on themselves, they will find their attractions starting to change and readjust to a healthier place. Are there exceptions to the rule and major age-gap relationships that can work and be healthy? Yes. But there are people that can do heroin and not become addicted too. The likelihood of one is just about as likely as the other, so you shouldn't try to kid yourself that you'll be one of the lucky ones, because statistically, that's not going to be the case.
Yes I think I may have that codependency trait and those problems you described I've given some thought about them too and I know what you mean, so you think that with some help I can figure out what's really my codependency related to and possibly my attraction will be driven towards a so called "healthier" relationship? You might be right, but for now is a bit hard to believe it, mainly because older men have always been the ones that got my blood pumping through my veins, but I guess you have pointed out some real problems I have to take seriously. Thank you for that, I will now have to think very thoroughly about all this.
