I am not a girl. But I want to be, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. I have wondered about this for the past couple of weeks, but connecting it with the past seems like something I shouldn't do, because I can overanalyze things. Over the past few years, I thought I was gay. And to add to that I wonder why I still have the voice in my head of a man. But I've always had these feminine qualities and embraced them so much and I never felt like I was part of the guys regardless of my sexual orientation so how does this all go together? When I was like seven I wanted to pretend the Uggs I was wearing were high heels and I just loved that, I really did. My best friend was my family friend, basically cousin. Once, I pretended to be her. I don't hate having a dick. But I wouldn't mind - actually I would want to - identifying as a girl nonetheless. I can recall two childhood dreams I had where I was female. One was as Juniper Lee, and the other I dreamt that I woke up in a different world that was pink and cloudy and everything, and I was just this little girl a white girl, oddly enough, but yeah. I called myself a "tomgirl" once when I was, like, five. A year before I was born, my parents had a miscarriage. She would have been my older sister. I would often imagine that I was the reincarnation of her. I wouldn't mind being my little brother's older sister. When I thought I was gay, I basically went with the gender-subversive stereotypes. I never really felt flamboyant or anything; it wasn't really part of my personality. And when I came out is straight I kind of perceived it as me being a lesbian. I'm glad I did this, because now I feel that this was just an OCD moment. But I was so sad about this in the morning I basically came out to myself after that it was so liberating; I felt so happy! But why do I have these episodes of feeling transgender? Please help.
Well, i know it's rough being a teenager with GID. I'm one myself, and can totally understand what you're going through. If you've just come out to yourself as transgender, It's probably too soon to do anything about it just yet. but definatly do think lots about it, mull it over, and if you keep having these kinds of feelings then it's time to do something about it. While you might not want to transition while still in high school (i'm debating it myself) If you think your parents are open to it, talk to them about it and see if they can take you to a gender therapist, who can definatly help you with this. Keep thinking about it, and message me if you need to talk
You can be a girl, if you want to be. There is medicine and surgery and legal stuff you can do to confirm your preferred gender. Just gotta, ya know ... do it. The longer you wait, the less effective the medicine will be in transforming your body. Check out some of the transition videos on youtube, I think you will find them pretty inspiring.
The thing is those could also be symptoms of an autogynephilic. A cis-by-default autogynephilics may engage into wearing clothes/accessories that are meant to suit women's body and have dreams of being the opposite sex. So, I'd consider this as a possibility if I were you unless you're sure that you are trans. There's also the crossdresser possibility. I'd consider that too.
Autogynophelia is NOT NOT NOT a valid scientific term. The fact that you bring it up offends me, GREATLY OFFENDS ME, in fact. The man who coined that term, a Mister Ray Blanchard, was responsible for the development of behavioral techniques involving electro-shock therapy and other forms of aversive stimulus control to change people's sexual orientation that is used TO THIS DAY in "pray the gay away" camps. Ray Blanchard views transsexuals as gay men who are attracted to straight men ... period. He is a biggoted, close-minded, asshole. There is no such thing as Autogynophelia, and for you to bring it up only fosters doubt, frustration and remorse.
Now that I read more, I take back what I have said. When I posted at the time, I was having recovery from a fever and it was late at near midnight and I was skimming. Hope the OP finds what's the answer.
