Hating Myself....

Hi It may take some time for your mum to understand what you are going through, many parents feel that way. Maybe you need to sit down with your mum, just you and her, and tell her why you are doing what you are doing and why it means so much to you. She should soon understand

I wish you luck, my friend. (*hug*)

 

You're welcome, all you can do is try; that's the best place to start (*hug*) Haha, yeah. MCR :icon_redf

 

Hey, I want you to know I have a genderqueer friend and an FtM friend, and I know exactly (albeit second-hand) how much they suffer with dysphoria and how much it sucks. (How's menstruation for a dysphoria trigger? I can't think of anything worse outside of getting physically attacked for your gender identity.)

I wish I had the magic bullet thing to say. But I can't promise that your family will be safe. I just think you need to build a support network of friends, especially queer friends who can empathize.

Gender, unfortunately, is the final frontier, and it's a huge site of conflict. So you need allies, people who understand you and will have your back. I hope your family can be counted among them. But even if not, you can forge on past that, with good strong friends.

If you're going to say anything to them, I'd just emphasize to them how real it is and how much hurt it would cause you if they didn't understand and support you. That's how I approached it with my folks, I guess. Your mileage may vary, but I hope whatever strategy you choose works.

 

I was actually about to post and bitch about periods. THEY SUCK. It feels exactly like im being assulted by my physcial gender. I also get wicked depressed for almost 2 weeks straight too which makes it even worse. Its like this horrible reminder of how i was born that just comes out of nowhere to slap me in the face. Its like its some cruel joke. I always think of those comercials with Mother Nature handing out "monthly presents" except its some evil little demon gnome or something that just dances around and laughs in my face "saying HAHA you a GIRL now, deal with it!" Plus, its so damn awkward to put in a tampon in the mens room, i mean come on how much stranger does it get? At least ive never dropped one. . . Anyways, Hidden tears, i get it, im there too. You just have to sit down with her and tell her exactly how you feel. Start out with asking her politely to not interupt you so you can get everything out, write it down if you have to, then once your done saying what you need to answere any questions she has. If she starts to insult you or belittle you politely correct her and if that doesnt work than simply walk away. Show her that you are sure about how you feel and who you are and you just want her love and support but your going through with it with or without her. If they see how commited you are and you are as respectfull of their greiving process as you can they will be forced to come around at somepoint. They may never agree with it but if you come from place where your asking for their acceptance and love but not their permission then you may be able to show them that your not "mistaken" or "going through a phase". Im not sure its possible for a cis person to fully understand the pain of dysphoria so many, unfortunantly, will never fully understand. Also, friends and a therapist are your best support system. I guess my coping mechanisms are hanging out on EC, working out, and my friends. Especially working out, i can work out any pent up energy and anger and work towards building muscle and appearing more male at the same time. Win win, its the best way ive found to deal with dysphoria. I always keep my running shoes handy and some hand weights for any time i get really dysphoric. Best of luck! I hope your parents come around, time is the best thing right now.