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Let's talk about names...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by clockworkfox, Jun 28, 2013.

  1. clockworkfox

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    Ok so, I've been at this point for almost a year now where I feel complete dissociation with my given name. I am not one of those individuals blessed enough to have been given a neutral name - my name is in fact very feminine. I have been searching through names for a while now hoping that one or two would stick out to me.

    Does anyone else have any experience with choosing a new name? How do you do it? I desperately need to go by something - I'm getting tired of meeting people and telling them that they can just call me "hey you". :help:
     
  2. Starling

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    I know that feeling EXACTLY. My birth name does not fit me whatsoever.
     
  3. drwinchester

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    I had a feminine name myself but honestly, my guy name was literally the first one that popped in my head. Since I was a kid, I had a list of boy B names for me "as a boy" and...yes, I'm pathetic. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Name had to start with B because my mom has a thing for naming her kids in alphabetical order... Made it easy to narrow something down.

    Do your research. Look through baby name books, websites. See what speaks to you and eventually you'll settle on something that works. :slight_smile:
     
  4. DeanIsHome

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    My real first name (it's not Dean) does not fit me at all! It's a very odd sounding religious name that I think is hebrew? Anyways it makes me sound like an old name so i just tell people to call me by my last name (Perry) since it can be a first name as well.
     
  5. ForgottenRose

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    I hate my birth name too. Just sounds way too blech for me.
     
  6. Arlo85

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    My birth name is another 1 thats feminine, cant be altered to anything male. I went by a nickname my boss gave me for a few yr, but he got replaced & my new boss outlawed nicknames as unprofessional.. So Im stuck feeling like a lad, but having to introduce myself with a feminine name :-(

    I know what my parents had chosen for me if i was born a boy, & i quite like it but i feel i prob won't use it as it might offend them in some way (if that makes sense).

    Theres a name i really really like, Ethan, & i think it would suit me, but part of me thinks its rather 'American', whereas Im Scottish..

    Lately iv spent far too much time looking up names online.. *sigh*
     
  7. RainbowMan

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    Slightly OT, but why would your boss outlaw nicknames as unprofessional? I go by a nickname in a very professional job (admittedly, it's just a shortening of my full name, though others go by their middle names, or something entirely different) and lots of other people do too.

    As for the OP, pick a name that suits you - I know that's easier said than done, but here's a start for ya (and I'm surprised by the ordering of some of these.....)
     
  8. TheMightyBoosh

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    I guess find a name that matches your personality
    I would have rather my mum picked my "male" name for me, but i am too scared to go and ask her what she would have named me had i been born male.

    I hate when people call me my female name, yeah it's pretty. My mum all my life has shortened it down to Lou which isn't too bad, but my name hasn't even got Lou in it or sound anywhere similar or Lee which is similar :thumbsup: friends will call me these occasionally too

    But i managed to pick Dante as my name for now, why?? I don't even know :lol:
    Just have a think to yourself...maybe know this mind sound stupid but maybe go on a baby name website and search for popular boy names. I've been known "Online" as Dante for quite a long time now so i dunno if i will change it

    It may take some time, it's not easy picking one. Took me ages and ages. :slight_smile:

    :thumbsup: Good luck! :eusa_danc
     
  9. DarkSarah417

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    My birth name is masculine and I am starting to not even react to it. It took me a few months to decide on a name, and even then it was the one I wanted originally
     
  10. Sarcastic Luck

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    I'm lucky in the aspect that my first name exists for men and women, and my middle name is the female version of a male name. Personally, I've never liked my first name, and while the male version of my middle name is alright, I've always liked 'Jason'. I have no idea why, it just appeals to me. I think it stems from the fact that I had a major, major crush on Jason David Frank from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers as a kid. Even named my hamster Jason.

    So, that's what I try to go with.

    I'm actually happy my dad ended up naming me. Else I would have gotten a name like "Heather".
     
  11. Arlo85

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    Im not sure. he himself goes by a shortened version of his name, as do half the folk i work with. my nickname (that no-one except my old boss, on occasions when we meet up, uses anymore) is totally disconnected from my name, but isnt daft or anything. a big part of me thinks its because my old boss gave me that nickname (the 2 knew each other, & arent fans of each other) & this new guy wanted to delete all evidence of him ever being there. 3 YRS later & its stil outlawed.

    I kinda look upon it now as 'well i dont want you calling me that anyway, because its not your name to call me' , but it still hurts that i have to go by my birth name, which makes me rather uncomfortable.

    *sigh*
     
  12. justjade

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    I absolutely hate my middle name, but I was blessed with a unisex first name (which actually is Jade). It would be cool if I could come up with a cool "guy name" for myself, but I don't feel right forcing it. It would have to be given to me. I dunno. Maybe I'm just lazy.
     
  13. Sarcastic Luck

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    I just went down a list of popular/common male names and picked what stood out to me. No one is going to do it for me, so I need to take things into my own hands.
     
  14. Hexagon

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    My name is Alexander Gordon [original surname]

    Let me explain how I chose it.

    I looked up a list of names from by year of birth. I kind of tried them out, and settled on a few I liked. One of the other main ones was Michael, but I decided against it because of its biblical origins. I narrowed the list down based on name meanings. I chose Alexander because it means 'Defender of Humanity' which I really like lol. I chose Gordon because its a name shared by all the males on my father's side of the family. I absolutely hate it, lol. But everyone hates their middle name right?


    Make a list of names you like. You can find these on names websites. To those you answer no to, delete from list.

    -Do you like it and feel comfortable using it?
    -Does it feel like 'you'?
    -Is it age appropriate?
    -Is it common enough that people won't take particular notice of? (many trans people have said they have chosen an uncommon name, and people guess they changed it themselves)
    -Will other people feel comfortable using it?
    -Is it appropriate for your country and ethnicity?
    -Do you like the meaning? (optional, good for deleting names once you narrow it down and are left with some you can't decide between)
     
  15. Just Jess

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    My birth name is actually incredibly feminine. I had it legally changed to a masculinization when I was very young. My bio dad was very bohemian. But I at least have that going for me if anyone ever tries any "birth certificate" bs :lol:

    The name I grew up with is very masculine. It's very easy to feminize but I still don't want to do it that way. I'm not going back to my birth name either because it's too close to the name I grew up with. I mean I don't hate my male identity. I went through a lot of stuff living as a man and I'm not ashamed of who I was at all. I just feel like it'll be easier to get the point that I'm outwardly female now across better if there's some distance.

    My new name is very feminine (it's not Cassie although I think of myself as "Cassandra" or "Cassie" when I'm posting here), but the shorter version is gender neutral. Shorten it again and it's back to being feminine. Shorten it again and it's just a letter which is kinda tacky.

    I'm going back to my birth middle name though because it's awesome.

    Last name's kind of iffy. My mom remarried and, keeping family drama off the internet, but he was not a good person. I have his last name. I was toying with the idea of making it my own for a long time. Just being the head (and tail since I don't plan on having kids) of my own family tree.

    But my bio dad and partner are both really awesome people, and I might take one of theirs. Or just see about inventing my own.
     
  16. Oddish

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    Birth name was incredibly easy to masculinize, same as with my middle name.
    Shane Adrian [surname].
    You could get the feminine version right on the first try, I'd bet.

    I was originally going to go with Julian Adrian, since Julian clicks better with my surname, but I figured it would be easier just to go with Shane. I'm addressed as Adrian sometimes by certain people, which I do like (perhaps even prefer).

    I mainly chose names I thought sounded good, or names of people I idolize. Honestly, choosing a name wasn't all that difficult for me. I played around with names, had my friends address me by a variety to see which ones I preferred, and eventually became fond of Shane. Plus my family and friends could easily pick it up since it's practically a shorter version of my birth name.
     
  17. dylansheadplace

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    My real name is really feminine, too. But, it's also REALLY common so I've been telling people I was going to change my name since I was like 10 because I hated being confused with the others.
    Unfortunately, my real name cannot be changed into any sort of masculine name that sounds like me.
    I created a list of all the names I liked and asked my friends if they could call me by that. That helped a lot.
    I settled on either Dylan Parker or Nathaniel Ryker (I'm still trying to decide between those two).
     
  18. BradThePug

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    My birth name can be unisex, but is mostly seen as feminine (It's Ashley). So, I chose a male name by asking my mom what I would be named if I was a guy. She said Brad. So, for a long time it was between Josh (Which was the name that I came up with) and Brad. I decided to go with Brad.
     
  19. Temperance

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    I love Dylan :slight_smile:
     
  20. clockworkfox

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    I've been reading all these replies, but I couldn't think of what to say. Thanks though!

    I've tried starting a few lists, but it's been strangely difficult for me. I think my taste in names is questionable. :\ I'll be working on a list again though, I really need to settle on a name.

    The hard thing has been finding a name that suits me and that I like. How do I know if a name suits me? So far nothing has really clicked.