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Soo scared... Need help plz possibly trans or bi-gendered

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Unknown5, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. Unknown5

    Unknown5 Guest

    I have always felt a little uncomfortable as male, but it's been so hard for me to accept that about myself. I'm soo terrified, I try and hide this about myself, but it doesn't go away.
    It makes me feel so bad about myself I can't take it. My mom already abuses me mentally and physical over being bi, and blasts me with extreme homophobic stuff based off her fundamentalism Christian ideology. It's all makes me want to die. Sorry for ranting so much. Back my gender identity, I am feel like I could be either male female, or both. Even though I'm like a smaller sized guy I feel way to masculine. When I was younger I used to imagine that I was a girl and would sometimes privately dress up in girls clothes. But then I have times where I feel comfortable as male. Idk I'm really confused...
     
  2. FemCasanova

    Full Member

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    *hugs!*

    Sorry for the late response!

    I understand how confusing all this must be for you. Gender can be really complicated, but regardless, there`s nothing wrong with you! We are who we are, sometimes it takes a little time to figure out who that person is. You are still very young, and although some people know these things perfectly from a young age, this does not apply for everybody. Especially if you have outside influence like abuse! It makes figuring these things out so much harder. Do you have anyone you can turn to? A school counselor, a possibly supportive family member, your doctor? It`s not okay what your mother is doing to you! It`s not okay at all.

    One day you`ll be able to move out and be free to live your life exactly how you want to/need to live it, as well as live as whomever you are, without shame and insecurities, but if she is abusing you, she is doing damage and that can affect you and will for a long time. You are going to need someone on your side, who you can talk to and get support from.

    *hugs* It will be okay. You`ll figure stuff out, but if you can get some help and support now, you ought to reach out for it. You don`t deserve to be abused, neither mentally, emotionally nor physically! Nobody does! Least of all for things that are completely outside of our control. We don`t choose our gender, nor our sexuality. You have nothing to be ashamed about. And her fundamental hate-filled crap is BS. You deserve acceptance and love, not this kind of treatment.

    You are not alone, and so many other people here have felt like you do now. It will be okay! But please, if there are anyone you can reach out to, do that. A school counselor for example, that wouldn`t cost money and most schools have one.

    We care about you!