Hi everyone, To cut a long story short my 2 best friends are transgender, one of them is a MtF and the other one is FtM. I fully support them wanting to change their gender and I have no problem what so ever about it. The main purpose of this thread is to try and get as much information as I can on how to help them through their transitions and how I can try to make it as easy as possible for them. Feel free to link any helpful websites etc. Here is a basic profile of what my friends are like: MtF - About 6'4 and a bit overweight, long black emo type hair - Has some issues with self-esteem and body image (especially when dressed as female) - Can be shy when trying to practise changing their voice FtM - About 5'3 and fairly toned, short dark brown spiked hair - Has a habit of procrastinating when they're scared or nervous - People call her 'butch' because she first identified herself as lesbian If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. I am a pretty open person when it comes to trying to help others. However, I will also respect my friend's privacy in some areas too.
I am in no way an expert in this, nor do I know as much as I`d like to, but I`ll try to give some advice regardless, hopefully someone else will chime in as well. Be there for them if they need to talk, even if what they say or how they feel confuse you. Let them know that you care and that you`ll be there for them during the transition. Figure out what pronoun they prefer, him, her, hin, etc, and make an effort in remembering to use the right one. If they decide to change their name, make an effort in remembering and using the name they choose. Generally be the person who they can come to, be honest with. It can be a bit difficult at first. My GF has some trans* friends, and her best friend's gender identity was female for 8 years before he began transitioning. My GF says it was hard at first, to use the right words, use the right name, see her for the person he was, compared to the person my GF knew before. She says it was almost a transition for her too, because this was her best friend who was finally becoming who he really was and she wanted to be there and support him the best possible way, but she had to work to adjust to it. So, I think the most important thing is that you want to be there and change with them. But these are just my uneducated opinions based on the impression I`ve gotten from how she dealt with it. Your friends might need/want something else/more, but as long as you are willing to listen and they can communicate freely with you, then I think it`ll work itself out. You seem like a good friend!
Before my friends told me they were transgender the 3 of us discussed what names we would like if we were male/female. Fortunately, my 2 friends are living/sharing rent of a house together so I can freely call them their preffered names. I try as much as I can to use the correct pronoun when I'm around them, but sometimes my brain just goes on automatic pilot and registers what gender they are on the outside. At the moment we're just at the starting stage were my friends are talking to some psychiatrists, dressing the part at home, and working on the voices/walking stances. I think it will almost be like a journey for myself, but I am willing to take that leap and be there for them. P.S Thankyou for your advice and compliment FemCasanova. Hope to hear from you soon.
