Hiya all! Long time, no see. Just thought I'd drop by this forum again, because I've got a question that's been nagging at me for ages. I am an introverted shy 20 year old. I am perfectly confident in my sexuality. Have been since secondary school, and even then, I knew in junior school. I just didn't have a name for it. I am "out" to my close family, one half of my extended family and most close online-only friends. I do not believe in god, and do not view being gay as any moral issue. So why is it that, during real life, and online to friends etc, I find it difficult to actually say it? To say the word, gay? To apply it to myself, even though I know full well I am? It's not really a pressing issue on the forum. I'm just not sure why, exactly. It's hard for me to type, and harder still to say. Am I the only one who feels this?
I know that it's hard to come out to other people because it just is, even if you accepted yourself and have no religion morals. I feel the same way. I fully accepted myself for over a year and even thinking about telling my family, but I freaked out to think about what they'll think.
I feel the same way and honestly, I think it's because using the word gay just makes it seem so definite. I mean, it's not really hard for me to type the words, "I am gay", but saying it out loud is definitely a challenge. In fact, I haven't said it out loud once. In a way, I feel like I'll be a different person if I say it. I won't be me anymore, I'll be a gay person, and that's awful for me to think, but it's true. I most definitely have not come to terms with it. You're not alone.