writing to get over it.

So i have been avoiding having any kind of relationship while I'm still setting the tone for the future. When I get a look form a guy I completely ignore him, especially the guys I find attractive because I don't think it would be a good idea for me to be in relationship any time soon because I will most likely only get hurt and I'm not mentally ready for it. Part of my reasoning for staying away from guys was due to someone I know, upon first meeting him I had a crush and me having a crush on someone is very rare. Till one day he was talking about asking a girl out and I have this rule whenever I guy says he likes girls believe him and get over it, so I went a head and got over it but yeah, I still think he is attractive. There have been some awkward situations due to my childish nature in the past six months of my knowing him but nothing I couldn't handle. But now he has gone and done it, it was completely random and caught me off guard, he used a quote form a movie and now I'm on this site writing this rant. I dare not repeat it because just thinking about it is torture, it was dorky but at the same time very romantic and I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. Time had stop for like two seconds then I caught myself falling like a fool, stopped midway and replied in a very vanilla way by asking if he was quoting another movie as if I didn't hear what he had said but only how he said it. I will have to full on avoid this guy now until I get over this. I just thought writing about and having someone read it would help me get over it faster. Me trying to remember him talking about asking that girl out doesn't seem to be working right now. I wish where other people around when he said it that way I could interpret it differently. Because joke or no joke for those two seconds I thought he was telling me it like he meant it.

 

I hope so too but he didn't ask her out. He just told me he wanted to.
I've been trying so hard to avoid him. To be honest, if he did not come up and speak to me I would be doing I great job. I guess that's the type of guy he is and he has no idea what I'm thinking at all. Its kind of painful, LOL. He has such a great sense of humor, the dorky, goofy, kid ish, kind and that appeals to me more than anything else because I find it to he a very rare quality. Whenever he comes and say hi or something he's like doing a dance or makeing a joke in a strange voice and I just find it funny no matter how not funny it is. I try not to laugh and walk away but he will keep trying until I do. We are not even friends he's a coworker/manager and I most again say that its really hard for me to become romantically interested in someone. He makes me feel like he's actually interested and a girl comes in and him and some coworkers start being guys. Today I feel like we might of had a real moment because I let myself relax when we were talking and then that thing happened again I felt stupid for being myself.