So, I apologize if this thread comes across as bitter/whiny and/or as trademark angst- Feel like I need to vent, get this off my chest (because I might as well get something off of it...) I've posted a bit about this before in a couple threads so long story short, I'm homeschooling and part of my responsibilities as the apparent eldest 'daughter' is to assist with schooling my sisters. At first I was okay with it. Parents had to work to support the family, might as well do my part. Could've done with less cooking and cleaning, of course. My mother primarily schooled my sisters and what she'd usually have me do was help the younger sisters (6 and 5 at the time) with their lessons so she could focus on my nine year old sister's more involved lessons. Over time, as my mother's job demands grew, she gradually began handing more and more of the school responsibilities over until I was practically teaching all of the girls myself. Now, I had my own education to focus on at the same time but I'll admit, I've let that slide. My schooling was self directed, with mixed results. I'm still doing Geometry, took me four years to even begin to understand Algebra, and science? Pfft. That went to pot. I feel like I have no time for it but then there are people who managed to do school while working two jobs, raising kids, and then feel like I have no excuse. So I teach my sisters. Easy enough. Their curriculum spells everything out. I'm going to college in the fall and my mother assumes that I'll still be schooling them while I go full time. And live at home. Biggest problem with that? I wanted to live as a man on campus. Reinvent myself. Rather hard to do that when I'm too chicken to buy a fucking binder and have arts and crafts to do with the six year old. So that's it, in a nutshell. Not sure what to do with the mother or college. How the hell do I break it to my mother that I don't have the time or patience to educate her kids when I'm at college?
As an older brother I was often leaned on to take care of my two much younger sisters (everything from diapers to feeding), I know of what you speak and I have often felt that this was an unfair burden to put on me. How can you be expected to live your own life with this responsibility? The only thing I can tell you is that your mother needs to know how you feel, it needs to be made as plain as possible that you can't keep doing this and that you shouldn't be expected to. Educating kids is a parent's responsibility.
Remember George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life? He put off his plans for travel and education to keep the family Savings & Loan going. Sure he had a great family and saved the town from becoming a slum; but he didn't go to college or travel. I guess the point is don't let guilt or obligation keep you from your dreams.
I know I've got to break it eventually and it's got to be soon, otherwise how else do I move forward? :\ That's my problem, I suppose. I do this all the time. Never have lived for myself in all honesty. (And I knew there was a reason why that movie resonated with me...) Thanks. Just got to figure out how to break it to her, man up and all that...
Sorry you're having such a tough time of it! It sounds to me like your mother is indeed piling her responsibility as a parent on YOU because she doesn't have time, either. As for the kids, IS it impossible for your mother to teach them herself if you went away? Could they go to public school or some kind of educational institution so that neither you OR your mother has to teach them? I personally am all for that--not just you, but your siblings also need social interactions with other kids their age as half of what you go to school for, and just maybe they would benefit in the same way you want to grow yourself at college. I can't stress enough how important this is!! It would also be a good point to bring up to your mother so that it doesn't sound to her like you're being selfish (which of course--you're not!! Everyone deserves the chance to live for themselves, especially if they're as young as you! ) I would bring it up carefully to your mother, even if the thought is scary. Bring it up with something like how she thinks your siblings will deal without you if you get held up at school next year? Does she think it's the best thing? And just slowly lead into the thought of living on campus and not educating yourself AND everyone else. Tell her WHY you think the decision is best.
At a certain point, you have to be clear that your responsibility is to better yourself. And that may make things a little bit difficult for your mom but... that's on her. Neither you nor your siblings decided they needed to be homeschooled, that's on your parents. So they can either figure out how to continue homeschooling your siblings, or they can send them to public school. This isn't on you at all, and it's important for your growth and well being that you assert yourself and start living for you, not for your mom's convenience.
