I've been self destructive for a while now because I'm not happy and haven't been in a long time. I could control my drinking more if I wanted to but...well...I don't want to. I smoke now which I never used to do. Idk. I know I should stop both. Bored with my life and the people in it. Not inspired to do much of anything.
Have you spoken to a doctor? Sounds like you could have some form of depression but there isn't really enough information in your post to be sure. I definitely don't think a professional opinion would hurt though, especially as you seem to know that what you're doing is wrong.
i'm normally not one to recommend seeing a shrink, but i think it might be a really good option for you. if you're bored with your life and the people in it, it'll continue to be boring until you do something about it. which seems like a lot of work right now, but happiness is the key to life. i'm not going to sit here and tell you how to run your life, that's for you to figure out. however, happiness isn't effortless. you can't sit around, drink your day away, then expect to wake up the next morning with your dream life. you have to work for it. and once you have things how you want them, it'll be well worth it.
Idk. I haven't been able to make meaningful friendships in a while. I just moved across the country so I have no local friends. In the process of job searching. I'm not really depressed but I'm not happy. I feel like on a day to day basis I'm not having meaningful conversations with people or interactions and it's leaving me feeling empty. I've never been the kind to find happiness through material possessions. I pretty much have all the material possessions I want. I don't have the people connections that I want. I don't think a shrink would help my problems. I have plenty of associates, but not many I consider friends. Even less I consider good friends. At a new job I feel like I may not be able to be as out as I want to be. I moved to a conservative southern state with anti-gay laws on the books. I am out of the closet but I feel like I maybe should put a foot back in while I'm in the process of starting up my career. I just don't want to have to deal with any bullshit from people about it which I think we've all dealt with in the past.
i understand, we all go through phases where nothing seems right. maybe you can find a couple good friends on here and make the friendship connection that you're looking for. i usually don't suggest online dating but considering you live in a pretty conservative enviornment, maybe it'd be a good way to meet some new people. unless you're looking strictly for friendship?
Hey, I understand to some degree what your going though. I never felt like a complete person. I too grow increasingly bored with the things around me. I don't really know what it is either but I have been fighting off self destructive urges for sometime now, To deal with the empty feeling or end it.The days of my life just seem meaning less no matter what I accomplish. Like I just get my first college degree and I'm like whatever. I feel like I might have some form of depression that comes and goes. Some days I'm good but the thing that scares me is that when it comes back its worse. I was thinking I should see a doctor before it gets out of hand. Maybe you should see one too just to hear them out, they might be able to help you.
I would say stop drinking, now.. well you dont have to give it up, but drink responsibly in reasonable quantities/times of day/times per week / etc. This is a classic thing people say to themselves to rationalise their overuse. If you want to talk hit me up on my wall or something , I've just recently made it out of 7ish years of addiction.
I appreciate the support. I think in terms of smoking, I've basically put my foot down on that one. Stop it before it becomes a habit. But with the drinking I tend to get sad when I'm drunk. Idk why I always get sad with it. I should probably put some strong effort into stopping it as well. I have stopped for periods of time in the past so I know I can. I don't feel I really have anyone to open up to at the end of the day. I can't to my parents, they don't care. They have anti-gay sentiments as well as my sibling and it makes it hard on me because I can't confide in them. I have one good friend I tell all my problems to but I feel they may be burdened by me doing this. I will say even though I am out the closet, as I've mention else where on the site, I still struggle with being gay, the discrimination I've experienced from it, the isolation, the hate, the name calling, I'm just tired of it all. I'm already a minority and this issue just compounds my day to day issues. ---------- Post added 14th Jul 2013 at 02:30 PM ---------- Also I've tried the online dating thing. Doesn't work. I'm relatively decent looking but the sites are full of "hoes and vampires" as I tell people LOL. Nothing serious from those sites. Soliciting for sex and people that don't know how to carry a conversation. I don't have the energy anymore to mess with them. But yes 1st and foremost I'm looking for meaningful friendships because I've all but given up on courting people for the time being.
Way I see it you already know what's needed you said it yourself you have stopped before for a short time what's worrying is you said you dont want to stop this time You need to find something to look forward to like a special occasion something to focus on .And then want to get better gradually taking little steps .I hope you get there
I've cut down A LOT on my drinking compared to how all out I was going in the past year or so. I was hanging around a bad crowd and the last chick I dated was included in that. They were alcoholics, drug addicts, you name it. So I got influenced. Left her, and that town, got a grip on myself. I've never done any drugs. I only drink. I don't smoke cigarettes but like cigars which are worse in a way I guess. I don't smoke them that often so I'm not addicted or anything. But a part of me is thinking I should stop drinking all together. Prob is I like to drink. Prob with liking to drink is that sometimes when I get stressed I drink which I know is not good. I think in the long term that I should stop. But it's easy to fall back on something that you like doing. Typically with my drinking if I start out relaxed, then happy, then eventually I get sad when I've had too much to drink and by then it's too late and you have to just let it run its course.
