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How to be a lesbian

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lunarchy, Jul 13, 2013.

  1. Lunarchy

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    Well, I suppose I should say that me and my first girlfriend broke up recently, and I decided to try and take this time to learn what it really means to be a lesbian. I mean, I've only been out since 2011, and it's all happened so quickly, one minute I'm trying to convince myself and everybody else that I'm straight, the next I'm deep in the arms of another woman. It's hard admitting I'm a lesbian, because I never thought of myself as such. I have always just been me, and until recently that was a straight girl with a weird obsession with females, and no real interest in men whatsoever. For a while I called myself bisexual, but even that was a lie, I have never really been interested in a man, but when I see a cute girl, my heart just begins to flutter.

    Neither of my parents really approve of me being gay. My father tries his best to be supportive, but every time we talk now he seems so sad, as though he's lost me, and my mother, my mother pretended to be accepting, until one day she flipped at me, telling me to "get over this little phase and grow up." (My parents are separated) And now she doesn't want anything to do with me until I stop being gay...

    Sorry for the long story, just felt it was necessary, anyways, I'm looking for some advice I never got nor sought out now, on how to be a lesbian.
     
  2. Maddy

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    I never got that kind of advice either. I'm just me, I do my thing, and I'm a woman attracted to other woman - and, as such, a lesbian.

    That's all it comes down to, really. Living your life, dating or getting into relationships with women if that's what you want, stayong single if that's what you want. You can get involved with lesbian social groups and the like if you want, but you don't have to. There aren't any requirements to be considered a lesbian.
     
  3. Capsaicin

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    I think you'll find a perfectly fine way to be a lesbian as you become more comfortable with the fact that you're into women and reconcile some of the disagreement with your family, not as you learn what it "really" means to be an orientation.
     
    #3 Capsaicin, Jul 13, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2013
  4. LaplaceScramble

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    There isn't really a wrong or right way to a lesbian, or any orientation for that matter. The only "right" thing to do as far as being a lesbian is concerned is being attracted to females. That's about it. There's a wrong way to be a lesbian just like there's a wrong way to be japanese, american, russian, polish, hawaiin, african. Basically, there isn't one. Being a lesbian is as defining a part of who you are as any of your physical traits, any of your hobbies, any of your talents.

    You are a lesbian because you are attracted to females, not because of how you act, what movies or books you like, what your religious or political beliefs are, it doesn't matter. Like you said, "I have always just been me." Being you isn't part of being a lesbian, being a lesbian is part of being you.
     
  5. Straight ally

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    How to be a lesbian?

    Step1 feel attraction to women
    Step2 keep feeling attraction to women
    Step3 dont feel any attraction to men
    Step4 start again from step 1

    But now, how to be a great lesbian?

    Dont budge, be goodwith your family but be firm. Dont suppress your lesbianism just to please your mother or father. Dont return to the closet to make them happy, as it will only make you extremely unhappy, and your unhappyness will show and your mother and family will still be unhappy because they will notice their daughter depression and they will wonder why you are depressed, so, no one is going to be happy that way.

    Instead if you are true to yourself you can be happy, and ok, your parents disapprove of what you are doing, but only if you stay consistent there is a possibility that with time they will accept you( i imagine that after a few years your mother will understand its not a phase).

    Also to make things even better, make them proud in other areas: be the best at your career, acheive great things, be a badass, be a loving daughter, call them as often as you can, keep touch, succeed at dating and find the right girlfriend for you so they can see how happy you are like that. Make all lesbians proud of you.

    ...and by the way, dont surrender with your mother, write a letter or a email with everything you want to explain her, tell her you love her.

    And finally when you have done all this, post your success story somewhere at EC.

    :goodluck: (*hug*)