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Need help and advice, please

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Jamie Lynn, Jul 17, 2013.

  1. Jamie Lynn

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    Ok, I'm having trouble with making a decision about whether to wear a swimsuit on our family vacation or not and need some advice.

    My whole life I have wanted to wear a cute swimsuit and now I feel that I can but am confused.

    My therapist says I look like a woman more than she does, my sister says that I am a beautiful woman, my mother says that I look like a woman and my daughter says that I look like a woman, I also have been called a lady by strangers out in public. But,,,, my wife says that my body is not as far advanced as my mind is and she does not want to see me get hurt by someone who might make a rude comment and that I should not do it. I know my wife loves me and really cares about me but I also know that so do my mother, daughter and sister.

    I have been on HRT for 19 months now and I have noticed a lot of changes in my physical appearance such as softer skin, a rounder face and even a nice set of breasts, 44D right now and growing.

    But I also should tell you that I'm not a small woman either, I usually wear a size 20 - 22 womans.

    So my sister bought me this really cute one piece swimsuit, it's black with a cris-cross over the breasts and a really cute skirt. I love it.

    So what should I do? Is my wife right? or is my mother, sister, therapist and daughter right? Who should I believe?

    I have always wanted to wear something like this but not if I look like a guy wearing a womans swimsuit.

    Help, Jamie Lynn
     
  2. BudderMC

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    Question: what is the alternative if you're not going to wear that swimsuit?
     
  3. Jamie Lynn

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    I just won't swim at all, I'll just watch. :frowning2::icon_sad:
     
  4. BudderMC

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    Here's my two cents. But I'm also a young cis male, so maybe it doesn't mean as much.

    Coming out in any capacity is about being honest with others (and the world) about who you are. It's about being confident in your skin and doing what you feel you need to do to improve your quality of life. People of all races, ages, genders, etc. can and will receive negative feedback on their physical appearance, because that is unfortunately the way that society has groomed us. Unfortunately, being trans*, if you still aren't the best at passing for a female, you might draw more attention to yourself.

    If you think you look good and feel comfortable in that swimsuit, then when you're wearing it, that confidence is what will show, not the fact that you aren't 100% at your end goal of being a female yet. It's a vacation - might as well enjoy it, right? And you're going to have to have that first "experience" of really presenting as a female eventually.

    Perhaps you could give it a try the first time and if you really feel uncomfortable, opt to not swim afterwards. Would you consider swimming in some sort of swim trunks + a loose t-shirt? There are lots of people (men and women) who opt to do that because they're not comfortable with their body yet.
     
  5. Jamie Lynn

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    Thanks, you helped a lot,

    I am leaning twards wearing it, it's sooo cute, and I do agree that I will have to have that first experience at some point why not in a town where no one knows me. as for swimming in shorts and a t-shirt, that would feel like a step backwards for me, I already dress as a woman 100% of the time right now, it's just that, as most women feel, the feeling of being fully exposed in a swimsuit and how my body looks in it adds a lot of extra stress. LOL
    Jamie Lynn