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Adultery

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Azrael, Jul 20, 2013.

  1. Azrael

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    Hi, I'm only 16 and pretty young.

    So I live with my mother, my aunt and my sister and my father is off at work. Recently though I suspect my mother has been inviting her boss back home for dinner with the family, my sister is younger than me and is still very naive. I know it's a bad thing and that I should be panicky, but I've come to a point where it's just, an event, or something there and I feel as if it's fine but at the same time I'm worried. I know as the oldest son I should ask her, but this man is very nice to my mother, much nicer than my father has ever been and I really do want the best for her.

    I really do not know what I should be doing, or even thinking, I've been liberalised to the point where I accept almost everything concerning love.

    PS. should I use this as leverage for coming out to her?

    Please help me.

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. LinkLarkin

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    I've never been in a similar situation, so my knowledge comes entirely from my experience of watching television dramas... but I hope I can be of some help all the same!

    I think if it concerns you then you should talk directly to her about it instead of making any accusations or anything. If you think she's better off with this guy then make it clear that you're not angry, just confused, and you want her to explain the situation to you. You have a right to know if it's a serious relationship, and even if it isn't then she shouldn't be making it so obvious that you're suspecting it in the first place. If it turns out you're wrong it may be a bit awkward, but you won't know unless you ask. Only you can decide whether you can live with not knowing or not.

    As for leverage: absolutely not. You will regret it if you make your coming out experience a remotely negative one. You need to be able to sit down, create an atmosphere that's comfortable for you and your family, and just calmly explain it to them. If you make it about blackmail or do it during an argument, things will not end pretty.

    I hope this makes sense and is of some help! (*hug*)
     
  3. LD579

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    Don't use it as leverage. In more bold terms, that'd be blackmail.

    You could talk to your mom, perhaps.
     
  4. Azrael

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    Okay that's good to hear.
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! I would agree with, and suggest as well, that you speak with your mom, and let her know what's on your mind. Chances are that she might be having similar thoughts, and might feel that you have picked up on something.

    If you wanted to come out to her, and take that pressure off your shoulders, find a good time to sit down with her. Your coming out though should be about you wanting to share something with her and gaining support, not losing it. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Azrael

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    Well I've talked to her about her thing (I'm saving the coming out until she's gone) and well she says they're just friends. Oh well looks like I'll have to believe that, mustn't worry too much at this young age, I'll be greyed before I reach adulthood.
     
  7. Mirko

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    I think it's great that you have talked with your mom, and that (hopefully) it has eased some of your worries. It is perfectly normal to worry, and to wonder what's happening. Accepting your mom's answer should allow you to move on from your worries. :slight_smile: