Hi people, I'm new here. I've been facing an issue and I was wondering if it has affected others. Basically, I'm 21 and been questioning my sexuality since I was about 15, but lately, it has become clearer and clearer that I'm on the gay side. Even though I'm a virgin, I'm more and more attracted to women, and I've started to come out to a few people around me, and overall, I'm okay about it all. I definitely feel like I want to be with a woman. I've never, ever felt like I'd want to get close to a guy, it's just not for me. Women are where it's at for me lol. However, I fantasize about men sometimes, but in a purely sexual way, never, ever romantic way. In fact, I never even imagine kissing a guy, being in his arms, etc. Just, well, you know... The pure sex part of it. Even if I find it a little bit unsettling at times, I don't need to be reassured that I'm a lesbian, I know that I like women and that fantasies are often completely unrelated to actual desires. I was just wondering if anyone had ever experienced this or something similar. Thanks!
There's nothing wrong with that. Sexuality is a very fluid grey thing it's not black and white. You can love whoever you want sexually or romantically there shouldn't be an issue. I think the reason why you are worried is because of labels, and when people stray from their labels they feel stressed out and anxious. For me, I always had that dream of an 'ideal' family with a wife, a daughter and a son and a house, I sometimes have those dreams, but not very often anymore. Good luck.
I experience that, which confuses me even further about my sexual orientation. I've always assumed that it's normal.
sounds to me like your still slightly in denial , I knew I was a lesbian before sleeping/ kissing or having relationships with women/men deep down , but because of pressure from other people I felt like I had to sleep with people to prove my sexuality , this isn't true , sounds to me like you know you want to be in a relationship and who your physical attractive too ie your sexuality , its the same as imagine is it with straight people they don't have to have sex to know there sexuality and neither do you. Denial Is a normal stage of coming out to yourself, you have to accept that your not going to get the husband , 2 children and white picket fence and that you have to face teling others, its okay to realise this at your own pace
it's normal, but at the same time maybe you need to actually get with a guy so you can be for sure that women are what you really like. i kinda always knew i was into women but i dated a guy from the ages of 15-19 just because that was more acceptable in society and i didn't have a problem with men. i practically only stayed with him because he was a really good guy most of the time and i wasn't comfortable coming out. even after we broke up it still took me a year because i wanted to make sure that it wasn't a phase. and i'm no longer attracted to men in any way. of course i can say that one might be attractive but i still don't have a desire to be with one emotionally or sexually. but do what's best for you! it never hurts to explore your sexuality.
I have this problem too but with girls. I have purely sexual fantasies of being with a girl, but it's more or less being forced to mate with them. Or, it revolves around foot fetishism. I don't like it, it turns me on to think about, but I really don't like it. My penis hates me -_-
I've looked pretty far back, and it takes time, but i've discovered that it showed itself a little bit since I was about six years old, which is interesting. I had a crush on a male teacher in the first grade. ^_^
@Azarel: I'm not so concerned about the "labeling" issue anymore, now that I am pretty much 100% positive that I like girls. I'm just curious to know if anybody else has been experiencing this. But yeah, deep down, I guess it does sort of upset the whole labeling issue, which is maybe why I'm noticing this. @Curious Bunny: surely it is normal I can definitely see why it is confusing to you, though. I hope you sort it out and feel better about it all @ Wells: good, so it's really not just me, @BritishSkittles: definitely no denial here lol. I'm not making myself think of boy parts to avoid thinking about girl parts lol, it just happens. I guess I now understand the meaning of this sentence I once heard, "Lesbians love penises, just not when they're on men." Lol. @HeyAshley: Ehh, I don't think I could bring myself to do that, because I'm just not interested in men. I just sometimes fantasize about their, um, well, you know. Never the rest of their bodies, their face, themselves as a person, etc. I don't think I could be in a relationship based on that lol... It wouldn't be right as a person, and my religious beliefs would preclude that type of relationship anyways. But I definitely understand where you're coming from and why you gave me the advice you gave me. @Yohoshi2013: Yes to the "being forced" part, I've experienced that a lot. I don't hate it, but I definitely could live without it lol... It's a bit weird. @Shadowsettler: Hmm, not sure how your comment is related to my post, wrong thread maybe? But if not, please expand lol. So I guess that the general consensus is that this is all pretty typical? Haha
It's related: I've been through the exact same thing you just described, finding your sexuality and finding clarity.. I don't understand what about that is confusing you.
Oh okay, I was just a little confused because your profiles says you're a gay guy and you mentioned having a crush on a male teacher (understandable lol), while my issue is kind of contrary: I'm a gay girl fantasizing about men lol. But yes, our struggle is definitely a common one... *sigh*
:lol:I've fantasized about girls, too. It's very rare. I dunno.. it's the polar opposite of what you've described. I probably should have mentioned that part of it, lol
I'm a lesbian and I like looking at dicks. I'm pretty sure it's just 'cause I'm a pervert. I have ∅ emotions for men. Just sayin' It's normal.
