already in my mid 20s, never been in a relationship..i keep falling for straight women (single, with boyfriend/husband..)...ive lapsed into periods of depression. I had to cut off ties to the only close friend I had because I had feelings for her (she's with someone now and shes straight). Again, im still into unavailable women. I joined glbt groups, but never fit in...I just hate myself sometimes...why cant I be prettier, smarter, more outgoing...im the quite type and often feel misunderstood or overlooked..... ever since I was a child, I always feel alone...and now ive developed some envy for long-time happy couples..it's pretty pathetic... at this stage, im supposed to be forming bonds/relationships--I have none.
Those problematic words: "at this stage, I'm supposed to..." Do you see what I mean? What are you supposed to be doing at this stage? Is there some rule that states that a long-term relationship is the only one that you should be looking for? More to the point, are you perhaps missing or even perhaps rejecting other potential bonds and friendships because they don't seem to fit your ideal? Coming out is really part and parcel of accepting who you are and declaring to the world that you are now free of the expected relationships you are "supposed" to be having. It would be a shame then to come out of the closet of expectations to find yourself in yet another closet of a different colour. Love yourself first, it's the cardinal rule of relationships, because if you don't, who else would? I would urge you to shed these ideals of prettier, smarter, etc. Be yourself, love who you are, be comfortable in your own skin, then go out there and let others know that you are who you are, vulnerable to the core, and ready to take on the world!
This magnificent gent here, ladies, gentleman, and those of questionable/multiple/unspecified gender. This guy right here.