So I seem to have a problem, I can't take a complement. My boyfriend has noticed it, when someone says that I am cute, gorgeous or something in a gay bar I immediately freak out and then think they are taking the piss out of me. How can I feel good about my self, I know this sounds vain but my boyfriend and others seem to say that I am really attractive. I don't know where they are coming from and I freak out
Oh, I understand the paranoia all too well. I think you just have to learn to a) read people better, which will come with practice, and b) trust people more. If they're making fun of you, chances are it will be pretty obvious, and if the people close to you give you compliments then there's no reason to assume that strangers won't earnestly give you the same compliments. On the other side of the coin, if there's no reason to assume they're making fun of you, then give them the benefit of the doubt! What's the worst that can happen if they are having a laugh? The mere fact that you have a boyfriend proves they're wrong! (*hug*) I get what it's like to have trust issues, but I also wouldn't ever get called attractive so if I were you I would just take the compliments in my stride, with a grin on my face, and move on!
You are good looking if you get told this. I never get told this, and feel I am not good looking, but if I had random people telling me this I wouldn't doubt it. People don't just go around calling others attractive. I have only been called ugly by other people, so I can't take a compliment, because I know it is a lie, or an indirect insult.(got called ugly every day by several different people for about 7 years) As for you, I'd stop worrying, obviously there is no problem, and you've never realize that you were good looking before. Take if from a butt ugly guy, you should only have issues with compliments if you mainly get insults. I can't take one because insults outnumber compliments 1 to like 50. But if you are getting mainly compliments you have no real reason to be upset or take it the wrong way. Being modest is ok, and you can't deny compliments, but do take them, they will boost your self esteem,and make you feel better about yourself. If I ever got a compliment that would make my day.
I used to get complimented by girls all the time on my hair, my skin, my eyes, teeth, my weight. It wasn't horrible or anything, but I did wonder, "Why don't guys ever compliment me?" Guess that should have been a sign! Perhaps you're having trouble seeing attractive traits in yourself? It took others to tell me I'm smart, I'm honest, I'm a good person before I started believing them, myself, since I judged myself constantly and only saw the negatives. "They're either deaf, blind, and dumb, or they're lying," I would say. You have a boyfriend, you get compliments, you're out to everyone... you have it better than a lot of people on the site and don't even see it. Take the compliments, fake it 'til you make it, since I get the feeling your self-image could use a bit of a boost.
Just say thanks and give a smile when this happens. Seeing as you get so many compliments, I doubt ppl are taking the piss outta you. Even if you feel uncomfortable, say thanks and smile. It cheets you and others up. I try to smile in every one of my posts . You'll also learn to appreciate compliments this way.
Yes, just say thanks. Like others said, people who you trust will rarely say such things to mock you. You may also be scared that accepting the compliments will inflate your ego, but it's fairly easy not to take the comments so seriously.
If you feel awkward taking it in stride, take it by humor. Say "Shut up baby, I know it", and pimp walk out of there. If the compliment was sincere: congrats! you took a compliment. If they were trying to take a piss out of you: insult deflected! Your piss still remains in its rightful place.
